Posted in Coping, Depression, Learning, Life, Motivation, Positive Thinking

Should I Feel Guilty For Taking Time Off?

https://unsplash.com/photos/aiyBwbrWWlo

“Time Is Precious.”

~ author unknown

When I originally decided to join the millions of people who blog I was so excited. I wanted to change things up in my life. I was on a mission to re-invigorate myself.

It is not in my nature to do something half way. So, as usual, I started and pushed forward full steam.

Now I am not saying I did everything perfectly because that would be inaccurate. I did everything to the best of my ability with the knowledge that I had.

To be truthful, I had no knowledge of how to start a blog. In some ways it was brutal and a little painful at times. It was definitely frustrating. It still is.

At the beginning of the year I made the decision to take some time off from my blog and writing in general.

I needed to take a step back and decompress. I was putting too much pressure on myself to be the “best”. That did not work.

What I was doing was not working for me. There were many other responsibilities that I was ignoring and I needed to get them done.

I felt like I was being stretched apart too tightly like a rubber band. It felt like I could break if I stretched any further.

The result was feeling deflated. Nothing was making me happy and I definitely was not relaxed. I suppose in some ways you could call me a slightly depressed perfectionist.

So here I am and February is at an end. Have I accomplished everything I needed to do? No, sadly, I have not. There is a dent in it, and that makes me feel somewhat better, but it has not “cured” my discontent.

What I have found is I feel guilty. Now in reality that is pure rubbish. There is no reason for me to feel guilty, but yet I do.

No one is putting pressure on me to do anything. I am placing the pressure on myself.

So I am continuing to put my house in order. When I say “my house” I am referring to me. I have come to understand that I am a perfectionist and I easily feel guilt for not being enough.

There is progress. I have been successful on a good “start” to my goal of reorganizing and ending up with a clean slate, but I am not there yet.

Each day I work on two or three projects and I can see the results and the progress I have made.

The problem is that when I stand back after I have done something I feel good about it, but it is difficult handing onto that feeling for more than a day or two.

When I think of the sum total of what I still have to do I feel overwhelmed. It is ginormous.

So I am trying to keep it all in perspective. I am trying not to judge myself.

There is guilt and there is an emotional side to all of this. I have an understanding of it, but it does not make it easier to push forward through it. I will get there, but I have come to realize that it will not be easy and it will not be overnight.

I cannot just put a big bandage on it and then feel better.

So I know I can get this done and I understand it will take a good long while.

It is so funny because as I go through each day there are these random thoughts and images that flow through of other things I want to do. They entice me and in some weird way make me feel better.

There are many things to look forward to. I just have to get through this first to be able to get to them.

I am not giving up on myself. I am a work in progress.

I am still here working on my goals.

 “Success is the sum of small efforts, repeated day in and day out.”

~ Robert Collier

Thank you so much for reading.

Posted in Inspiration, Learning, Life, Motivation, Personal Development, Positive Thinking

Quote Of The Day

“Change can be scary, but you know what’s scarier? Allowing fear to stop you from growing, evolving, and progressing.”

— Mandy Hale, Blogger and Author 
Photo by Isaac Smith on Unsplash

As always, thank you for stopping by today. I hope you enjoyed today’s quote. Have a great day!


Posted in Coping, Life, Motivation, Positive Thinking, Potential, Self Improvement

Do You Ever Feel Like You Are On A Treadmill And Can’t Get Off?

Photo by Trust “Tru” Katsande on Unsplash

Do you ever feel that way? Does your life feel like you are stuck in the same routine over and over again?

I think it is easy to get stuck in a rut and continually do the same routine day in and day out. Why? Because it is easy and it is comfortable; until it’s not.

When I started this blog I did so because I did not want to get stuck in my life. I did not want to become stagnant and that is how I felt. I did not like the feeling.

So I started a journey of what I hoped would be discovery. I am still on that journey, but I still feel stuck.

We cannot always control our life. Other factors, events, and people will influence us and possibly keep us from progress. That is life and I am still struggling to define myself.

At the end of last year, faced with assessing my progress, I was not happy with my overall situation. I felt boxed in by responsibilities that I had been pushing on the back burner for much too long. I made the decision to take some time to organize and rearrange my life and the way we live.

What I have discovered is it is not easy to do. We become so accustomed to living the same way, and not making changes, that we push back from actually making those needed changes in our life. That is what I find myself doing.

Yes, I have made some changes, but not nearly enough, and I am not happy with myself. I find it upsetting that I cannot commit to my goal of eliminating the clutter from my life. I laugh at myself sometimes because it is laughable. I cannot tell you the number of times I have walked into our closet, contemplated what to do, and then just walked back out without doing anything.

Part of my problem is not knowing what to do with everything. Recycling is so important and I become fixated on what to do with different items. What do you do with old blue jeans? or old shoes? I did find out that Nike has a program for recycling old sneakers which is great and there is a company that recycles old T-shirts. I have actually kept several items just because I hate the idea of them ending up in a landfill.

I have to get past that or I will never get rid of anything. So I have started a pile of items to donate. I will also probably take some items to an auction house and I have been listing some items for sale.

The point I am trying to make is that change is not easy. We do get stuck in a routine that may not be beneficial to us. I think it is easy to avoid change and I know it is not good for us.

What I am doing is not only clearing out items in my home that have been here too long. I am also working toward clearing out the debris in my head. I highly recommend it.

I think we all need to challenge ourselves all the time. It is good for our mind and it is good for our soul.

We only have so much time and we do not know how long we have. I need to get this done now.

So this week I will be kicking into high gear. Wish me luck, because I know I will need it.

How about you?

There is nothing wrong with change…if it is in the right direction.

Winston Churchill

I am trying to change in the right direction. I will give an update soon.

Thanks for stopping by. Have a great day!