Posted in Communication, Motivation, Personal Development, Positive Thinking, Potential, Self Improvement

Beware – Energy Vampires – 7 Ways To Protect Yourself

Photo by Waldemar Brandt on Unsplash

Come here my little pretty, let me suck away your energy. I’m hungry I need to feed!

People feed off each other’s energy. When you walk into a room, can you feel the energy, the vibe, what the other people are feeling?

Is it positive or is it negative? Does it make you comfortable, or do you want to turn around and walk away?

Sometimes it takes just one person to change the atmosphere of a room. Just like they had sucked the energy out of it.

That is bad under any circumstance but worse in the workplace. In a social gathering you can walk away. You can distance yourself from an acquaintance or friend. It is not so easy to do that at work.

How’s your energy? Do you have positive energy or negative energy? How do you feel every day? Are you usually positive and feel great, or are you more negative and feel down most of the time?

What determines our energy? It has a lot to do with what has happened in our past and how we have dealt with those things that shaped us. Our mindset and how we cope with life challenges have a significant impact on our energy. Whatever our perception of events around us and what we think about the most also affect our energy.

We love to be around positive people. They make us feel better, and we are more relaxed.

We usually are uncomfortable around negative people. They make us feel on edge and tense being near them.

It is not always easy to identify an Energy Vampire, especially when we first meet someone. They can be very charismatic. You may want to spend time with them. Until you don’t.

Have you ever spent time with someone, and at the end of the day you feel drained or overwhelmed? It could be a friend that you go to lunch with, or a colleague that you go with to a conference. You may be irritated, anxious and even depressed.

Why do you feel that way? What did you talk about, and did they have a negative attitude? Did you attempt to talk about something important to you, and they made you feel stupid to feel that way?

When you interact with anyone, and you walk away feeling drained, you have just spent time with an Energy Vampire.

An Energy Vampire tries to absorb your positive energy for themselves. Their purpose is to feel better about themselves. They lack empathy and are only concerned with their feelings.

I used to have that experience over and over with the same person. They needed a shoulder to cry on, and I was always there. Each time I would feel irritated and emotionally drained. It became worse as time went by. They never did anything to change their situation, but they always came back looking for that shoulder. I finally stopped. I could not take it anymore.

How do we protect ourselves from an Energy Vampire?

  • Determine what is acceptable for you. You may be in a situation where you cannot separate yourself from the vampire person. It may be a boss, a co-worker, or a relative. Do the next best thing. Set some boundaries for yourself. If possible explain what you can or cannot do. Remain positive and firm in your decisions.
  • Be passive and do not react. Be neutral and do not argue or dispute what they say. Energy Vampires seek out reactions from others which will increase their desire to keep interacting with you. Stop, be quiet, and let them talk. Hopefully, they will become bored and walk away.
  • Be positive and talk about positive topics. Smile, laugh. Steer the conversation away from anything negative or judgmental. Energy Vampires are melodramatic and can be manipulative. They like to complain and gossip. They tend to be jealous and resentful. Do not provide them with the environment they are seeking.
  • Learn to say no. When you say no, you are automatically taking away the ability for someone to steal your energy. There are many times when we automatically say yes to someone and then almost immediately regret it. We regret it because we know it is going to sap our energy. Learn to say no.
  • Spend as much time as possible with positive people that you feel good being around. Identify those who drain your energy and spend the smallest amount of time with them. Look for ways to eliminate them from your life.
  • Do a self evaluation. What upsets you about another person? You may have an issue in your life that you do not realize, and you attract the same type of person in your life. You may feel insecure on some level, or not worthy. Helping an Energy Vampire may make you feel needed. Once you realize and correct whatever issue you are having. the vampire moves on to find another source of energy.
  • Commit to doing what makes you feel good, what makes you feel happy. The better you are at taking care of yourself, the less likely Energy Vampires will be able to suck your energy.

Life can be busy and sometimes overwhelming. We need all the energy we have. Take care of yourself. Do whatever you can to rest, relax, and enjoy your life. Stay away from the Energy Vampires. Garlic, anyone?

Photo by Michele Blackwell on Unsplash

As always, thank you for reading my blog. Have a great day!

Posted in Communication, Motivation, Personal Development, Positive Thinking, Potential, Self Improvement

Determination And How It Helps You Be Successful – Why It Matters

Photo by Jordan Whitfield on Unsplash

Desire is the key to motivation, but it’s determination and commitment to an unrelenting pursuit of your goal – a commitment to excellence – that will enable you to attain the success you seek.

Mario Andretti

When I was working in Retail Banking I was motivated but more than that I was determined. To be truly successful I think you have to be both.

I was motivated by need and I was motivated by being a single mother of two young boys. They were my driving force. It was not enough for me to just have a job, an entry level job. To be able to provide for me and my children I knew I had to push myself to move up the ladder. I needed money and for that to happen I had to strive for excellence..

It was more than money though. I was motivated to be successful and to set a good example for my two sons. They saw me working hard. Going to college, working full time and sitting with either an open book or the computer virtually all the time.

Was I successful? Yes, I was. Why? It was because I was motivated but it was really because I was determined. You can be motivated and I believe that the majority of people are but not everyone chooses to be determined. It is a choice.

When you are motivated you have a willingness to do something. There is usually a carrot at the end of a stick as a reward. Motivation can change at any moment. It can literally disappear.

My motivation was to increase my income to support my sons. My motivation would have decreased if I had received additional income from a different source. It could also disappear if I did move up the ladder to a certain level and became comfortable there. I might not be motivated to keep working at moving up that ladder anymore.

Determination is different. Determination is a personal quality that can be applied to any situation. It is something you have inside you, a force of will. You decide you want to do something and you are determined to see it through even when you know it will be difficult.

Motivation would be wanting to move ahead at work.

Determination would be continuing to push toward that goal even when there are roadblocks in the way.

To put it in simple terms, motivation is whatever causes you to want to do something and someone can motivate you. Determination is your personal choice. No one can make you be determined.

So how does determination help you move ahead?

It had long since come to my attention that people of accomplishment rarely sat back and let things happen to them. They went out and happened to things.”

Leonardo da Vinci

Determination is powerful. It is a strength of character and a overwhelming force to be reckoned with. It is a key factor for success.

Probably the most well known creed of determined people is “never give up”. When they determine something they want, they set a goal and make a plan on how to get there. They will power through set backs and obstacles. If something does not work they find another way.

Determination can be the difference between achieving a goal and being successful or the person who gives up before they reach their goal.

You may have wonderful talents and great work ethic but if you do not have the magical addition of determination you may never be as good as you could be. There are many people from all walks of life that we admire and respect but we may wonder why they never quite made it.

Sometimes we are faced with challenges and set backs both personally and professionally that are just too much. That is true of so many yet they there are some who power through when most people wonder how could they do that. We would have totally understood why they could not.

To name a few:

Benjamin Franklin dropped out of school at the age of 10 to help support his family.

Albert Einstein did not speak until he was four years old. His teachers thought he was lazy and he would never amount to anything.

Stephen King’s first novel was rejected 30 times.

Oprah Winfrey overcame a childhood of turmoil to become North America’s first black millionaire among many other honors. You can read her story here: https://www.notablebiographies.com/We-Z/Winfrey-Oprah.html

When you are determined to succeed you will push yourselves to do more so you can reach your goals. There will always be obstacles to overcome for all of us. There will also be failures. When that happens do not stop. Failure is a lesson and an opportunity which you can use to improve. Be determined to learn, get better and push on to success. Your determination will be what pushes you to overcome challenges.

If you were just motivated to complete your goal and you faced failure this is the moment where you might say enough and accept your status and not push to be better.

Determination tells you that yes you can continue and you will take the next step on your journey toward success.

“Your opponent, in the end, is never really the player on the other side of the net, or the swimmer in the next lane, or the team on the other side of the field, or even the bar you must high-jump. Your opponent is yourself, your negative internal voices, your level of determination.”

Grace Lichtenstein

I truly believe that people are born with determination, that it is a natural trait. I also believe that you can develop a determined personality. There are steps you can take to change your perspective. It will be easier for some than others, but it can be done.

Changing your perspective, deciding you will be DETERMINED will require multiple steps. It may take longer than you think or it could happen quickly. It depends on your mindset.

Your mindset is so important. Your actions will be determined by how you look at yourself. If you have a positive mindset you will be able to set goals and be focused on achieving them. You goal is to stay positive and also develop a determined mindset.

One thing I think is really important is to talk to your support system, i.e.: your partner/family. When you are determined to achieve any goal you will be working hard. Let the people closest to you know what the goal is and why it is important. Make a plan that will involve them. It is important they understand what you are doing and how they can support your effort.

Realize that you have to be focused, completely focused. It is easy to waver or go off track. Develop a habit of reviewing your goal and your plan on how to reach it. Read it every day, either first thing to begin your day or last thing at night, or both.

Relax. You will be working hard and expending a lot of energy . Take care of yourself. Step away and do something to relax. Breath. Take a walk. Exercise. Do something enjoyable with your family. It is important to be rested and in a good mood, a positive mood.

Realize that developing a determined mindset doesn’t happen all at once. It will not happen overnight. Do not be disappointed if you find yourself slipping into old habits. Step back and reassess. Think about your end goal and why it is important.

Don’t expect immediate results. Be willing to spend the time now to realize your end goal. Determination is an action, an action you are taking. There may be a learning curve involved. Just like learning a new skill of any kind you have to put in the effort to become an expert.

Let go of negativity. If you feel it creeping into your thought process boot it out. There is no time for meaningless thought. Negativity has no value. Stay away from negative people and their influence. Develop a positive mantra that you can say to yourself whenever you are stressed, tired or a negative thought starts in your head.

Nothing in this world can take the place of persistence. Talent will not: nothing is more common than unsuccessful men with talent. Genius will not: unrewarded genius is almost a proverb. Education will not: the world is full of educated derelicts. Persistence and determination alone are omnipotent”

Calvin Coolidge

Determination. It will power you to success. You have a Vision. You have Ambition. Execute with Determination. You will have Success. What decisions will you make today?

As always, thank you for reading my blog. Have a great and successful day. Power on.