Posted in Communication, Motivation, Personal Development, Positive Thinking, Potential, Self Improvement

The Ebb and Flow Of Our Inner Personal Voice – Why Is It There? Can We Use It To Benefit Us?

“Your opponent, in the end, is never really the player on the other side of the net, or the swimmer in the next lane, or the team on the other side of the field, or even the bar you must high-jump. Your opponent is yourself, your negative internal voices, your level of determination.”

Grace Lichtenstein
Photo by Alexander Krivitskiy on Unsplash

There is an ebb and flow to our thoughts, our internal voices. I have never given it much thought, not spent time worrying about it. My inner voice for the most part is positive. Sometimes it pokes me with some negative garbage. Then, I get what I call the funk. I will have an hour, to a few hours, or even a day when I am feeling negative or down on myself. It usually happens when I am tired or when someone, or something, irritates me. I have to think about it, poke a stick at it and work it out in my mind. Then I kick it out.

Of course, there have been experiences in my life when it wasn’t that easy. I survived a toxic relationship and a major disappointment at work. One was related to the other. The voices were running around and screaming in my head.

It was much more difficult silencing those voices. They were nasty and so very, very foul.

We each have two inner voices. There is a negative voice and a positive voice. Where do our inner voices come from? As we assimilate the world around us when we are very young, we develop our inner voices. We watch and listen to our parents and the other important people in our life.

We absorb the love we receive and the positive actions and words we are exposed to, which forms our positive inner voice. We develop our negative inner voice from the criticism we receive and the negative experiences we have or see. Our experiences as a child form our attitude toward our self and others.

Sometimes we appear to become our parents. We have so many of their traits. As a child we mimic the actions of our parents. Our facial expressions, the tone of our voice, the words we use and the way we move our body. Sometimes we may look like little mini-mes.

If we come from a beautiful positive home and experience lots of love, more than likely we will be the same. When we have the opposite type of childhood, and our experiences are negative, we may also be the same way.

The good thing about humans is we can change. As we grow and mature, we learn that we do not have to adopt the attitudes and lifestyle of our parents. As we experience many different viewpoints and beliefs, we will learn to question our inner voices.

It is possible to realize that the negative voice in our head is not healthy and not good for us. We will understand it is damaging to our emotions and affects the way we perceive ourselves.

Our negative voice is comparable to the bully who lives next door. We don’t always hear or see him, but we know he is there and that he will keep bullying us if we continue to let him.

Can we tame the inner bully voice and will we be able to control it for our benefit? Yes.

Our negative voice hangs out in our mind, and it feels like it’s normal. We are used to it. You may be considering doing something, but that little voice nudges you with a negative thought. You can’t do that. You are stupid.

Some of us may never realize the effect of the bully voice. We may never recognize that nasty little voice and it could negatively impact our entire life. Hopefully, our positive inner voice is strong enough to overpower the negative and ignores it. Our positive inner voice pushes it away.

Most of us will have moments when we experience negative thoughts. They usually happen when we are trying something new, or we are trying to work our way out of a bad situation.

What can you do?

The first step is, of course, recognizing the negative thoughts and understanding the negative impact they have.

How will you recognize the negative bully voice? When you find yourself feeling super critical of yourself, stop, and think about what you are feeling. What were you doing, and what were you thinking? You will find belittling thoughts and self-criticisms in your mind just like the ones you might hear a bully say. Do not let those thoughts control you.

When you do notice your negative bully voice, pay attention and take steps to exorcise it, or at least control it. It is time to think about it, poke a stick at it and work it out in your mind and kick it out.

Write down your experiences and negative thoughts. Think about them and try to determine where and when they started. Do they come from your childhood? Is it something that was said to you when you were in a close relationship? Once you realize where the negative voices come from, you will be able to take steps against the negativity.

When you remember the negative thoughts, answer them with a positive statement. An example might be, “No, you can’t write that story. You’re too stupid.” Then you answer with a positive statement such as, “I’m not stupid. I am a good writer.” Think about this and let it sink in. Repeat. Keep doing this exercise. It will help you recognize patterns, habits, that you have which are a result of your negative inner voice.

When you do this, you will begin to look back at other instances in your life where you have heard the negative voices and listened to them, which impacted your outcome. Going forward, it will influence the way you approach things and help you to work through events with a more positive attitude.

Tune out your negative bully voice, don’t listen to it anymore. Listen to your positive inner voice. Change your habits and engage in activities that make you feel good about yourself, which makes you feel stronger and more resilient. When you are successful, congratulate your self. Look at all areas of your life and recognize what is positive and which is negative. Look for ways to remove the negatives and increase the positives.

Everyone is different and have had different experiences. Yes, you can recognize the bully voice within you and it is possible to control it and become a more positive person. It is not always an easy process, but it is an important one. If you realize you have this problem, it truly can be debilitating. Look for someone to help you. Talk to a professional.

As always, thank you for reading my blog. Have a great Sunday!

Posted in Communication, Motivation, Personal Development, Positive Thinking, Potential, Self Improvement

Attitude Is Everything-5 Steps-What To Do To Build A Great One

A positive attitude causes a chain reaction of positive thoughts, events and outcomes. It is a catalyst and it sparks extraordinary results. ~ Wade Boggs

Our attitude is something we carry with us every moment of every day. Do you know what your attitude is? Are you aware of what shapes you and your response to any situation?

When we go to bed each night we take our attitude with us and when we wake up each morning there it is. Our attitude is embedded in our mind and we usually are not even aware of what it is. It colors everything we do.

Think about this. What was your first reaction this morning? Did you think of something positive, was it ho-hum or negative? How did you react to your first interaction of the day? Were you listening to what was being said, truly listening or did you make an assumption based on past experience? Did you feel happy?

We are all influenced by our experiences and we form opinions and automatic responses throughout our life. Our responses are everything. Have you ever thought about how you are responding? Was it positive or negative? When you speak do you watch to see the reactions of other people?

What we say, what we do, and our reactions are what we are presenting to the world. They paint a picture. If you could step away and view yourself through someone else’s eye would you like yourself? Would you want to spend time with yourself?

Our attitudes affect all of our relationships, personal and professional. We all want to be liked and we all want to be successful. Attitude and how we approach each day will have the biggest impact.

Negative or Positive which one do you choose? It is an important choice to make. There is an inner voice that we all listen to. It tells us how to react. We are programmed by our past experiences and influences from other people such as our parents.

The great thing is we can change our attitude. It can be done by making a few choices each day and building from there. So what can we do?

” The greatest discovery of all time is that a person can change his future by merely changing his attitude.” – Oprah Winfrey

  • Talk to yourself. Make positive affirmations a part of your life, each day, every day. When you wake up and greet the day do it with a positive thought. A simple statement such as “Today is going to be a great day” will head you in the right direction. Greet the day with a Smile, it always helps.
  • Exercise. If you can, add exercise to your weekly routine, a least 3 days a week, preferably more. You will feel better, look better and you will have a better attitude. Exercise will reduce stress, improve sleep and boost your self esteem. All great for your attitude.
  • Be aware of your words and work on changing your vocabulary. Be intentional in how you speak. Practice being positive and using positive words. When someone asks how you are reply with a positive statement. A simple, “I’m Great” is a good answer.
  • Quotes: I have said this many times before but it works. Do a search on the internet such as “positive quotes” and you will find so many. Read them each and every day. Pick some favorites and use them. Send them out in emails, post them on Twitter. Be a source of Positive Attitude.
  • Visualization: Each day, stop and look for a quiet spot. Sit and close your eyes and visualize yourself being positive. What do you want to improve? At work it could be a work project, a meeting or interacting with your peers. See your self being confident, happy and successful. There is no bad time to do visualization. A great time would be first thing in the morning or at night before you go to bed.

“Keep your thoughts positive, because your thoughts become your words. Keep your words positive, because your words become your behaviors. Keep your behaviors positive, because your behaviors become your habits. Keep your habits positive, because your habits become your values. Keep your values positive, because your values become your destiny.”

Life is about choices and decisions. People are drawn to those people that make them feel good. To feel better about ourselves is what everyone wants so it is natural to gravitate towards positive people. You can be one of those positive people.

Visualize in your mind what you want and then take the steps to make it happen. It won’t happen all at once and sometimes you may falter. Do not stop. Allow yourself to react, then step back and put it in perspective. Learn from it, grow from it and turn it into a positive. Make a routine and follow it each day. Build a positive Life.

As always, thank you for reading my blog. Have a wonderful and positive day.