Posted in Communication, Curiosity, Excitement, Inspiration, Joy, Motivation, Personal Development, Positive Thinking, Potential, Self Improvement

Let’s Be Different! It’s OK, Really, And Here Is Why

Photo by Randy Fath on Unsplash

If you’re always trying to be normal you will never know how amazing you can be,

Maya Angelou

I have always been one of those people who always played it safe. It felt safer to go about my life without drawing attention to myself. Don’t say this, don’t wear that, be careful of my facial expressions and tone of voice. Heaven forbid, don’t raise my voice, do not question and, do not make direct eye contact.

I was painfully shy as a young child, and an introvert as a young adult. Not awkwardly so, but I never put myself out there. I became comfortable and accepting of that. As I entered the work force it was a challenge. It was necessary to push myself. In some ways I guess you could say I became two people and it worked.

It was never easy, but so very necessary to be able to loosen up enough to communicate well. It felt so uncomfortable at first. It was itchy, prickly uncomfortable like I was wearing wool underwear. You know, like feeling you wanted to get out of your skin, shed it like a snake.

Thank goodness, I am a calm person. At least most of the time. I can sort of suck my breath in and then relax myself. Not something that someone can see ( I don’t think), but an internal process–sort of like a minuscule meditation in my mind and body. I do internalize most everything. It works for me. I am not sure I would recommend it, though.

All of us are different. We each have multiple layers, and that’s okay. It would be boring if we were all the same. What the heck would we talk about? What would we do? We might as well be robots.

Having lived all these years, I finally have come to the conclusion that it is okay to be different, and I wish I had realized that earlier in life. I wish I could have been that slightly wacky person who everyone laughed at but secretly wanted to be.

The game of life is best played not merely by the rules but with a sense of imagination and childlike wonder.

~Anne Scottlin

Remember Pippi Longstockings? Different, heck ya, but so exciting and so fun. I think we should be more like that. More relaxed, less intense, and seeing the delight in everyday life.

Sure, we have to be serious sometimes, but we should not have to conform to every rule and every way of doing something. I believe the people who are different, and a little quirky, have so much to add to life. They bring a different perspective and a refreshing flavor, or nuance, to everything. They make things more interesting.

In personal relationships and professional settings, it is essential to listen to all viewpoints. I think there is a tendency to assume that being conservative is always the best way. By following that way of thinking, we bypass that unique little nuance that could make everything much more exciting and enjoyable.

I know I am not alone in putting on a front, a facade, to the outside world. We do not show our true selves, we don’t put it all out there . The reason will be different for each of us. Self-preservation comes to mind, being fearful, wanting to fit in and be accepted.

Everyone is unique. If you are confident and vivacious, or shy and quiet, it is okay. Be who you are. Trying to conform is tiring, irritating, and it is not necessary. Be yourself. If you are different than everyone else celebrate. Let all of your layers show. You can be shy and quiet and be quirky too. You can be confident and vivacious but also an introvert.

Life is short. Enjoy it. Do something different, something unexpected. Be Pippi Longstockings. Mix it up. Be a little crazy on occasion. How many of us do the same thing every day, day in and day out, and repeat! Boring.

Change it up!. Listen to your inner self and try something new. As a result, you will shine and be amazing.

By being different, you gain a different mindset. You will question the way things are accomplished and also why. You will think about ways to do them differently and make them better. It is easy to accept the status quo, and it becomes uncomfortable to make the needed changes. Not making those changes can lead to a boring, stagnant mindset. Be different and make a change. It is a good thing for everyone.

You are more interesting. We are attracted to people who are different, wacky in a good way. We want to know them, we are curious about them and sometimes we wish we were them. If you do things differently than everyone else, you dress differently, talk differently, you will be intriguing. People will want to know more about you.

You will be a more confident stronger individual. When I was working hard to advance at work, it was exhausting at times because I was trying so hard to conform and be the person I thought I was required to be. It was challenging to be all those things and still maintain who I was. In the end, I became a much stronger person, a better person.

Being different helps you appreciate other people. You will understand and accept other people who are different, while still accepting those who more readily conform. You will easily make good quality friendships.

“Here’s to the crazy ones. The misfits. The rebels. The troublemakers. The round pegs in the square holes. The ones who see things differently. They’re not fond of rules. And they have no respect for the status quo. You can quote them, disagree with them, glorify or vilify them. About the only thing you can’t do is ignore them. Because they change things. They push the human race forward. And while some may see them as the crazy ones, we see genius. Because the people who are crazy enough to think they can change the world, are the ones who do.” 

Apple Inc.

Let’s be amazing! Be different and embrace all your quirkiness.

Posted in Communication, Motivation, Personal Development, Positive Thinking, Potential, Self Improvement

Beware – Energy Vampires – 7 Ways To Protect Yourself

Photo by Waldemar Brandt on Unsplash

Come here my little pretty, let me suck away your energy. I’m hungry I need to feed!

People feed off each other’s energy. When you walk into a room, can you feel the energy, the vibe, what the other people are feeling?

Is it positive or is it negative? Does it make you comfortable, or do you want to turn around and walk away?

Sometimes it takes just one person to change the atmosphere of a room. Just like they had sucked the energy out of it.

That is bad under any circumstance but worse in the workplace. In a social gathering you can walk away. You can distance yourself from an acquaintance or friend. It is not so easy to do that at work.

How’s your energy? Do you have positive energy or negative energy? How do you feel every day? Are you usually positive and feel great, or are you more negative and feel down most of the time?

What determines our energy? It has a lot to do with what has happened in our past and how we have dealt with those things that shaped us. Our mindset and how we cope with life challenges have a significant impact on our energy. Whatever our perception of events around us and what we think about the most also affect our energy.

We love to be around positive people. They make us feel better, and we are more relaxed.

We usually are uncomfortable around negative people. They make us feel on edge and tense being near them.

It is not always easy to identify an Energy Vampire, especially when we first meet someone. They can be very charismatic. You may want to spend time with them. Until you don’t.

Have you ever spent time with someone, and at the end of the day you feel drained or overwhelmed? It could be a friend that you go to lunch with, or a colleague that you go with to a conference. You may be irritated, anxious and even depressed.

Why do you feel that way? What did you talk about, and did they have a negative attitude? Did you attempt to talk about something important to you, and they made you feel stupid to feel that way?

When you interact with anyone, and you walk away feeling drained, you have just spent time with an Energy Vampire.

An Energy Vampire tries to absorb your positive energy for themselves. Their purpose is to feel better about themselves. They lack empathy and are only concerned with their feelings.

I used to have that experience over and over with the same person. They needed a shoulder to cry on, and I was always there. Each time I would feel irritated and emotionally drained. It became worse as time went by. They never did anything to change their situation, but they always came back looking for that shoulder. I finally stopped. I could not take it anymore.

How do we protect ourselves from an Energy Vampire?

  • Determine what is acceptable for you. You may be in a situation where you cannot separate yourself from the vampire person. It may be a boss, a co-worker, or a relative. Do the next best thing. Set some boundaries for yourself. If possible explain what you can or cannot do. Remain positive and firm in your decisions.
  • Be passive and do not react. Be neutral and do not argue or dispute what they say. Energy Vampires seek out reactions from others which will increase their desire to keep interacting with you. Stop, be quiet, and let them talk. Hopefully, they will become bored and walk away.
  • Be positive and talk about positive topics. Smile, laugh. Steer the conversation away from anything negative or judgmental. Energy Vampires are melodramatic and can be manipulative. They like to complain and gossip. They tend to be jealous and resentful. Do not provide them with the environment they are seeking.
  • Learn to say no. When you say no, you are automatically taking away the ability for someone to steal your energy. There are many times when we automatically say yes to someone and then almost immediately regret it. We regret it because we know it is going to sap our energy. Learn to say no.
  • Spend as much time as possible with positive people that you feel good being around. Identify those who drain your energy and spend the smallest amount of time with them. Look for ways to eliminate them from your life.
  • Do a self evaluation. What upsets you about another person? You may have an issue in your life that you do not realize, and you attract the same type of person in your life. You may feel insecure on some level, or not worthy. Helping an Energy Vampire may make you feel needed. Once you realize and correct whatever issue you are having. the vampire moves on to find another source of energy.
  • Commit to doing what makes you feel good, what makes you feel happy. The better you are at taking care of yourself, the less likely Energy Vampires will be able to suck your energy.

Life can be busy and sometimes overwhelming. We need all the energy we have. Take care of yourself. Do whatever you can to rest, relax, and enjoy your life. Stay away from the Energy Vampires. Garlic, anyone?

Photo by Michele Blackwell on Unsplash

As always, thank you for reading my blog. Have a great day!