Are you aware of the effect you have when you walk into a room full of people?
“The time men spend in trying to impress others they could spend in doing the things by which others would be impressed.”
~ Frank Romer
When someone walks into a room, all eyes will turn, and within seconds a judgment will be made.
Sometimes it is “Wowser, look at him!” Other times you look away; not impressed.
What sparks the “Wow” response? Why does your gaze linger? Is it the clothes, or is it something else? What do you see and what do you feel?
Sometimes there is an essence, a magnetism; maybe a sexual response.
Certainly, the clothes matter and in business, you will hear the statement, “dress for success” often. There is a psychological reason for it. Your clothing affects how you act and feel. When you dress well, and you know you look good, your confidence level is higher, and you perform better. Your appearance will also have a psychological effect on others; the people you work with, your customers, and virtually anyone in the room.
The English idiom “don’t judge a book by its cover” is a metaphorical phrase that means one shouldn’t prejudge the worth or value of something by its outward appearance alone.
What we wear paints a picture, but the image we present is so much more than the clothes we wear.
When you walk into a room, you do so with intent. What is lurking inside that veneered cover? What else is important?
What happens when you have a conversation and have to answer a question? Your response and your ability to articulate can make or break you. If your appearance is a facade, you are in trouble; that essence you gave off just evaporated into thin air.
A voice can also be magnetic and can draw someone in, relax, or excite them. The words you choose are essential and can show your knowledge and intelligence, but the tone of your voice is equally important. A clear, confident voice spoken in a well-modulated tone will have a positive impact on the listener.
As soon as you are in a conversation with someone, the ability to be a good listener is imperative. No discussion is one-sided. If you want to impress someone, stop talking, ask them a question, and let them talk. Watch the body language of the other person and ask them clarifying questions. Make eye contact and perhaps lean in toward the other person indicating your interest in them and their opinion.
The way you walk into the room and the way you speak is affected by your attitude. You have probably heard the term, “fake it till you make it.” I would not recommend attempting to fake your attitude. Your attitude shines through virtually everything you do. It shows in your facial expression, your eyes, your smile, body position, and movements, to name just a few. Your attitude is transparent. You cannot fake being positive or energetic. You can try, but I would not advise it. Organizations look for people who have a passion for life and show their enthusiasm through their actions and words. You cannot fake that!
We should all be excellent at communication, but we are not. Communication is a learned skill and no one is perfect. There are many simple techniques which you can practice each day to become better.
Some of the most common mistakes and the most irritating in my opinion are people who do not look at me when I am speaking. You can see that they are not listening and are already thinking about what they are going to say. Worse yet is being interrupted, or having someone walk away, while I am still talking. Yes, people do that!
Don’t do that. Instead, look for ways to improve.
Here a few tips:
Spend more time listening, not talking.
Focus on the other person, make eye contact, move toward them, not away.
Ask plenty of questions and then clarify their intent.
Avoid finishing someone’s sentence.
When you are unsure of what the other person is saying, pause when they are done speaking. Let them know you want to clarify and then ask them a question.
Do not think about what you are going to reply until the other person has stopped talking.
How you dress, your non-verbal cues, and how you speak are all integral parts of how you communicate. Do them each with great care. We take our suits to the dry cleaners and we press our shirts. We should do the same with our verbal and non-verbal communication skills.
“One man is more concerned with the impression he makes on the rest of mankind, another with the impression the rest of mankind makes on him.”
~ Arthur Schopenhauer
As always, thank ou for reading my blog. Have a successful day.
Eyes wide open or so I thought. I decided I wanted to start a blog, and it has been interesting, to say the least. Not exactly what I expected. It is more.
My interest in blogging was born from intrigue. I was so curious about my sons and what they were doing. One is posting videos on YouTube, and one develops websites and has a Social Media Management business. It planted a seed in my mind.
Their interest became my interest, and my mind went whirling. Did I want to attempt something, and if so, what? I had absolutely no knowledge of anything to do with Social Media. I was not on Facebook or Twitter, and I do not even have a cell phone. Definitely behind the times. *** their sites are listed at the bottom of this article.
I settled on writing a blog. Anyone can write, can’t they? That’s true in a sense, but can everyone write well? Then there was everything else that goes along with a blog. Who knew? Certainly, not me.
You have to either create your website or find a platform to write on. I could not afford to pay someone to build my website & I definitely was not going to do it myself. So I started researching for an alternative. I chose a free WordPress blog site, and my journey began.
To help understand my journey and the angst I have felt from time to time here is my real reason for starting my blog. I am a 73-year-old woman who has been retired for years. I was looking for an outlet to express myself and to keep my mind active. I was feeling stagnant and did not like the feeling.
The name of my blog is, “adjusting my time frame,” which references my age and my mindset. I did not want to stay still and accept that this was all there is. I felt like I was falling behind and becoming the stereotypical “old” person. No, I am not ready for that—time to do some adjusting.
How do I like it? Most of the time, I love it. There have been moments when I have wondered what the heck am I doing. It has been downright frustrating at times.
Not being proficient on social media made it difficult in the beginning, and there is still so much for me to learn. Just creating my blog space on WordPress was a lot of work for me. I have always been able to learn fairly quickly, but this was a challenge at times. There were lots of choices and decisions.
I just kept picking away at it. Each day I would read and analyze, and then one day, I just decided to go for it and hit the publish button. That felt really good! Now when I look back at my first few blogs, I laugh. It has been about six months now, and I have learned so much.
Sometimes I get frustrated because with blogging comes the lust for acceptance and approval. Each time I published a post, I was looking to see how many people read it, how many people liked it, and how many people followed me. Did I receive any comments?
Like most humans, I like immediate gratification. I want everyone to love my blog. Silly isn’t it. I started the blog for myself, so I should be content with just that.
I have found that each time I write, I want it to be better. I want to be a great writer. I have found I have a lot to learn. I consider myself an acceptable writer but not really good and certainly not great.
Most of what I have experienced is so typical. There is nothing special about my experiences. I know I have to keep doing what I am doing, and I will improve as I go. So many people start a blog and become discouraged. That is easy to do.
I have stopped trying to do too much. At first, I researched and looked at so many promotional sites, places I had never even heard of before. I wasted a lot of time doing that, but I felt I had to play the promotional game. No, I don’t. Not for me, I just have to remain focused.
I am starting to relax a little and fall into a routine. I have established a set schedule and always post three times each week on the same days.
Everyone says it is essential to have a specialized niche when you write. My posts are mostly related to personal and professional growth.
The downside to that is I have many other topics I want to write about. So now I question my initial choice; if you are thinking of writing a blog that is an important thing to consider.
Spend a lot of time deciding what you want to write about. I cannot stress enough how important it is to be comfortable with either writing in a specific niche, or not.
To satisfy my interest in writing other topics, I have now started writing at Medium.Com. You can view my stories at: https://medium.com/@lindalatt
Am I happy I started my blog? Absolutely! Do I regret it in any way? Not at all. Blogging is an excellent way to express yourself. It is a place not only to share knowledge but also to gain knowledge. It does not matter what age you are, young or old, writing a blog can be beneficial for you.
Blogging was just what I needed. It has provided everything I was looking for and more. In some ways it’s magical!
As always, thank you for reading my blog. Create a little magic today!
“First we make our habits, then our habits make us.”
— Charles C. Nobel
We all have, or should have, goals; small goals & big goals are what keep us moving forward in life, and help us become successful. Goals are good; they are positive and helpful. They can keep us on track.
Goals are not all we need.
There is a difference between goals and habits. When we want to accomplish something like getting a promotion, learning a new language, or losing weight; we set a goal. Let’s say we want to be promoted to the next highest level at work. We set a realistic goal to earn that promotion in a year. We set the goal, and we have a plan on how to get there.
There are a couple of things that might happen.
Let’s say you get to the end of the year and you are successful. That’s great, you achieved your goal, but something else also happens. You congratulate yourself, and you settle into your new position. You stop doing all the good things that helped you to reach the goal. You become complacent. You did not create new habits. To maintain your new position, and to keep improving, you need to form habits.
You also do not have complete control over factors that could affect reaching your goal. The company you work for may downsize, and the position you want could be eliminated as a result. You may be in an accident or become ill. We may have an unrealistic view of what is needed to accomplish the goal and decide it is too much effort.
Habits are more relevant and more productive. Habits are instinctual and become an automatic part of your routine.
“Depending on what they are, our habits will either make us or break us. We become what we repeatedly do.”
By changing our focus from achieving specific goals to creating positive long-term habits, we can make continuous improvement a way of life.
Goals rely on motivation that we will receive an award such as an increase in income, or praise from someone we respect and want to impress. They are therefore short term.
Habits are something we do automatically, and so they have a life long effect on virtually everything we do. One example is money. If you want to accumulate and acquire wealth, you establish a habit early on in life that each week you will take a percentage of your pay and put it in savings. You do not use that money for anything else. It will become a habit, something you do not even think about, and an excellent practice to maintain.
If you want to establish a habit of reading or exercise, you can do it. Start small and exercise 10 minutes each day. Do the same with reading, decide to read a chapter a day, or to read for 15 minutes. It will become a habit and one that you automatically do. Quite likely you will do both for an increasing length of time, but always continue to do at least the minimum.
When we want to attain something in our lives, we will do well to invest our time in forming positive habits, rather than concentrating on a specific goal. The goal will end, and the habit will continue.
We need both. We need goals to provide direction and push us forward. They are suitable for the short term. Forming habits gives us the ability to keep performing and continually improve because they guide us all the time; every day.
“Our character is basically a composite of our habits. Because they are consistent, often unconscious patterns, they constantly, daily, express our character.”
As always, thank you for reading my blog. What are your habits?