Posted in Coping, Depression, Grief, Inspiration, Life, Personal Development, Positive Thinking

Resilience – What To Do When Life Knocks You Down

What Is Resilience, Do You Have It, And How Can You Get It?

Photo by Waldemar Brandt on Unsplash

“Resilience is knowing that you are the only one that has the power and the responsibility to pick yourself up.” 

Mary Holloway

Resilience is that indefinable quality that allows some people to be knocked down by life and come back at least as strong as before, and quite possibility better, stronger.

A large portion of the population is likely at any given time immersed in what could be considered a life altering experience. How we respond to it defines us as a person.

We encounter something that shocks us and knocks us down; takes us to our knees and overpowers us. We are left with a feeling of disbelief, a wave of grief, or seismic depression. How can we move forward when we are filled with doubt and despair?

It does not matter what event it may be. There is no need to put a name to it. Life is full of such experiences, and there seems to be more of them every day in this crazy world we live in. Each of us will, at some point, be overwhelmed by mind-numbing pain or hardship. Each of us will respond differently, and what we feel is the best we can do at the time. Some of us may choose to accept a new normal and not be able to move on. Others will not accept that and will fight back and be stronger as a result because of their resilience.

Resilience is not a superhuman ability. It is hard work and requires a sustained effort. The length of time needed to get to a new normal will vary, and be different for each person. Your mental outlook before this experience will help determine how you handle your adjustment, and the length of time required.

The type of person you were, and how you responded to any event, good or bad, will affect how you handle your response now. People who previously had a positive outlook and optimistic attitude should have an easier adjustment. If you can self regulate your emotions, control any powerful feelings, and impulsive responses, it will help you lower the level of stress you experience.

If you were a positive person previously with confidence in your abilities, that would help you to plan for what needs to be accomplished to be able to move forward. Your problem-solving and communication skills are important and will help you adapt to what may be an altered new life.

Part of being resilient is maintaining your connections with your support group; the people you turn to in times of need. You can turn to your close family members and friends, as well as any groups you are part of such as a church or social group.

It is essential to accept that change is part of life. Life is a continually evolving event, and includes good and bad. It may be difficult to accept the changes that result in a significant shift in your everyday life.

It may not be easy to accept what happened, and it may appear to be insurmountable, something you cannot handle. It is imperative to look beyond what happened to the possibility of the future, the potential for the pain to ease, emotions to calm, and healing to occur. Look for small improvements and focus on them and look for additional ways to move forward.

Goals are a part of life, big or little they are important. They were important to you before, and they are even more important after a negative, life changing event. They should always be an important part of your life.

We learn the most about ourselves in moments of stress and negativity. Like it or not, when we experience challenging events, we are faced with difficult decisions. Decisions we thought we would never have to make. Our perspective changes. We gain a sense of purpose and confidence we may not have had before. We place more value in our relationships and appreciate the value of how we spend our time.

As with everything in life it is so important to maintain a hopeful outlook and keep everything in perspective. Visualize what you want to achieve, focus on the positive, and do not dwell on the fear and negativity.

Always be aware of your attitude and include taking care of yourself. Feed your body and mind with a healthy diet and exercise your body to maintain your energy. It can be helpful to write about your feelings when you have experienced stressful events or to practice a soothing activity such as yoga or meditation.

If you feel overwhelmed and are finding it difficult to find your way out of the trauma, look for help. Find a support group, or talk to a professional, to help you move forward.

Life is a journey, and it is full of ups and downs, with some unexpected obstacles along the way. It is good to have a plan for what you want to do on your journey. It is also good to understand that there may be a fork in the road, or an unexpected cliff, where we have to take a different path. We should plan and be prepared for those too.

 “There comes a time in your life, when you walk away from all the drama and people who create it. You surround yourself with people who make you laugh. Forget the bad and focus on the good. Love the people who treat you right, pray for the ones who do not. Life is too short to be anything but happy. Falling down is a part of life, getting back up is living.”

– José N. Harris

As always, thank you for reading my blog. Have a great day.

Posted in Coping, Depression, Inspiration, Positive Thinking, Potential, Self Improvement

Quote Of The Day

I am Bent, but not broken. I am Scarred, but not disfigured. I am Sad, but not hopeless. I am Tired, but not powerless. I am Angry, but not bitter. I am Depressed, but not giving up.

Author Unknown
Photo by Download a pic Donate a buck! ^ from Pexels

Thanks for stopping by. I hope you enjoyed today’s quote.

Posted in Motivation, Personal Development, Positive Thinking, Self Improvement

Taking A Leap Of Faith

When I started this blog I took a leap of faith.  Both of my sons are active on Social Media and I started to become more and more interested in what they were doing.

 https://twitter.com/AricKeyes https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCSqpq1yNjFU1PO7geJ9Iy8Q

It was intriguing and I wondered if it was something I could do too.  For the most part I knew nothing about anything regarding social media. I Mean Nothing.  I do not have a cell phone, I was not on Facebook or Twitter.  The only forum I had joined was Pinterest and Instagram which I had joined to look at the horse we had donated. I wanted to see him as he adjusted to a new life.  Still looking at you Rocket Man; miss you. https://www.instagram.com/meadowsofmendonstables/

So I thought about it for awhile and then thought some more.  I had developed
an idea in my head for what the blog would be about and I mentioned it to my sons who both encouraged me, made suggestions and gave me helpful information.

So here I am, I did it, I took that leap of faith.  Am I happy I did it ?  Yes.  Do I wonder if it is the right thing ? Sometimes. Do I have a lot to learn ? Oh my yes ! Will I continue ? Yes. 

I sometimes question why I am doing this.  But as it says under my time line:

“As I age I am looking back at my life, taking stock, and looking forward to all I still have ahead of me.”

I am discovering while writing some of my posts that this is healing in some ways, allowing me to talk about things that happened in my past that I am uncomfortable with.  For years I struggled with my feelings and trying to cope with them. I did not talk about it; only to myself, especially while trying to fall asleep at night.  As I wrote in my last post,  I have finally accepted it and I now understand that writing this blog has helped me to realize that I have moved forward.

“It has been said, ‘time heals all wounds.’ I do not agree. The wounds remain. In time, the mind, protecting its sanity, covers them with scar tissue and the pain lessens. But it is never gone.”
― Rose Fitzgerald Kennedy

So I have been doing a lot of looking backwards and will continue to do so because there was one large negative but there were also many very positive experiences as well. Things to be happy about, to be proud of, and to share.

What about the future ? One of the reasons for the blog was to motivate myself because life is short and there is so much I would still like to learn and to accomplish. I admire people who keep doing, keep learning, keep participating and I want to be one of them.

One quirky thing I want to do, at least quirky for me, is zip lining because it looks like so much fun. Scary ? Maybe, I am not sure. Today I looked on line and I found an article about zip lining in NY State, and there is one relatively close by at Bristol Mountain. I see a challenge coming for myself and my sons and granddaughter. I really want to take this leap of faith.
https://www.newyorkupstate.com/outdoors/2015/06/9_best_places_to_zip-line_across_upstate_new_york.html

So what other adventures do I want to do ? Not sure at this point but I will keep looking and let you know. There are many smaller things I want to do which involve learning new skills. Learning to me is really important and I want to do so much more of it. Fitness is another and it is a love/hate relationship for me. Once I get going I am OK but if I stop, I stop.

For me deciding to take a Leap of Faith was not too difficult. I was motivated to do so. It has not always been that way and it may not be in the future. So what can I, or you, do to take a leap of faith, large or small ?

Decide why it is important to you and use that as your motivation. Your approach may be different depending if it is for personal or business reasons. That may also make a difference for your time schedule.

If you are not happy with something that happened in the past, and you are not satisfied with the present, focus on the future and how you want your life to be. If you have had an experience that left you feeling really good, really positive, think about why. What did you do then that you can replicate now.

Then focus and make a plan. How will you start ? Set some goals and then take the first step. Do that and keep going. Take one step at a time and as you complete each step successfully you will become more confident. If something does not work, do not stop. Reassess and make adjustments but keep going.

With anything we do, each of us, should take time to relax. Take a break, visit a friend, read a book, go for a walk and also congratulate yourself for a job well done.

As always, thank you for reading my blog. Have a great day.