Posted in Communication, Excitement, Friendship, Joy, Positive Thinking

Quote Of The Day

There is nothing better than a friend, unless it is a friend with chocolate.”   

Linda Grayson
Photo by Louis Hansel @shotsoflouis on Unsplash

As always, thanks so much for stopping by. Have a yummy day!

Posted in Communication, Coping, Friendship, Inspiration, Personal Development, Relationships

A Friend, Frightened, Tired But Not Powerless

Photo by Aimee Vogelsang on Unsplash

“I am bent, but not broken. I am scarred, but not disfigured. I am sad, but not hopeless. I am tired, but not powerless. I am angry, but not bitter. I am depressed, but not giving up.”

Author unknown

I have a friend, a special friend…I think of her often. She wanders in and out of my thoughts.

Do you know how that feels? I miss her now that she is no longer here. We used to sit and drink coffee together and talk about random topics. Not important issues really, just the everyday events and experiences of life. We laughed! She had a knack for making you feel good.

I liked spending time with her, but we did not see each other often, not every week, and sometimes it would be a month or longer.

Then there was an inexplicable change. I could feel it, but I could not put my finger on it. There was a flash of feeling, a question. What was it?

We spent a bit more time together, she stopped by more often, and she asked to go with me a few extra times. Nothing dramatic or compelling, only slightly different. There was a whisper…..

Then, nothing. There were no emails, no phone calls, no visits…only silence.

It did not seem unusual at first; the difference was slight. It felt more like a shift back to the old normal. There used to be times when we did not talk or see each other. But it did not feel right.

Then there was an email. I was so excited. She was back. Open the darn thing, I could not open it fast enough. Where have you been?

Shock! It was not where have you been. It was where she was now.

She had turned her world upside down.

It all came rushing together. Now I understood. There had always been hints, little bits of insight about her home life, and there had been more chunks of it right before she disappeared. I knew she was unhappy, but I was stunned when I read her words.

There had been a small window of opportunity, and she jumped through it. She ran. There would not be any more casual conversations over coffee, not anytime soon.

She had been planning this for a very long time. There just needed to be that time, the right time. I had no clue.

I was stunned, and I was in awe of her. She was such a strong, scrappy woman. I sat there, re-read her email and cried. I was sad for her and what she had been hiding. She had told no one.

She was miles away, such a long way. In another state at the other end of the country, but I had no address yet, and no phone number to call. A request not to tell anyone and the information that someone would probably contact me looking for her. The plea, so urgent, please pretend you have not heard from me.

The call came, then again and again. So many questions. Where is she? Had I heard from her? He needed to know. He questioned why I did not know, why I could not answer him.

I lied, of course, I lied to him, over and over again. No, the answer I gave him, was always no. No, I have not heard from her. I am worried too; I hope she contacts you soon. When she does, please tell her I am thinking of her. They were all lies. He was not worthy of anything more than that. I would protect her.

He told me he was going to the police to file a missing person’s report. Shit! Now what? She does not want him to find her.

What should I do? She was going through so much, trying to settle in and make a new life. She was afraid. There was the constant worry that somehow he would find her.

I sent off an email, not sure it would reach her. She was in the process of changing everything. Please call me. I need to talk to you. Waiting for that call was agony.

I knew if he filed a missing person’s report, they would find her. He would know where she was. She called, and we talked for a long time. What should she do? She decided to contact one of his relatives. In the end, he did not file the report.

He never talked to her directly. Eventually, there was contact by email. He demanded she come back. He would change; things would be different. Yeah, when pigs fly!

She hired a lawyer. There were mutual investments and property. She had to deal with that, and eventually, it happened. Finally, it was no longer necessary for any contact. She still had the fear that he would find her.

Gradually life went on for my friend. She created a new life, but it was different. She was different. There was the never-ending relief that the relationship was over, but she was having a difficult time finding a new rhythm. There were so many changes.

It has been almost three years. I miss her. I miss the smiling face, the twinkle in her eyes, the warmth she radiated. She was, and, is my friend. I no longer take her for granted.

We still talk, of course, and email back and forth. It is not the same. The friendship and the way we care for each other has not changed. It is the same, but it is more intensified now. I want to be able to sit next to her and drink coffee. My dream is to surprise her. Buy a plane ticket and knock on her door.

You see now there is something new, a new threat, my friend has cancer.

What happens now? Will I ever see her again?

Posted in Children, Curiosity, Learning, Motivation, Personal Development, Positive Thinking, Potential, Self Improvement

Through The Eyes Of A Child-Magic, Curiosity And Wonder – Ways To Bring The Joy Back To Your Life

Let’s Practice Some Magic!

Photo by willsantt from Pexels

If we experienced life through the eyes of a child, everything would be magical and extraordinary. Let our curiosity, adventure and wonder of life never end.

Akiane Kramarik

When you are a child everything is new and magical. Do you remember the first time you caught fireflies in a jar? Pure magic!

I remember my children and the looks on their faces and their excitement of experiencing something new for the first time. I see it now with my grandson. One of the best parts of being a parent, or grandparent, is seeing their eyes light up and their little hands reach out to touch something new. They look up at you with that happy look and they giggle. The wonder and pure joy reflecting in their eyes the first time they hold a kitten or a puppy, a frog or a bug.

The wonder of children helps adults experience magic one more time. They bring it back to us so we can giggle and have our eyes light up too.

I would love to feel that way every day. Sometimes the feeling is there and it is similar to how I felt as a child. It happens when we experience something new.

No matter what age we are, that is one of the ways we can experience life as if we were looking through the eyes of a child.

Let’s think about that. What can we do to put wonder and excitement in our lives?

  • Try something new. I have a couple of ideas for that. Go on an adventure. Do something you might have thought about because it looked like fun, and maybe a wee bit scary. I have a few ideas I want to try, kayaking, zip-lining and re-acquainting myself with horseback riding.

There are so many “new” things to do, easy, challenging, and anywhere in between. Scary things and just a little frightening, but so fun. What about you, what would you like to try? Is there something from another time in your life that you wanted to do? Try that!

Remember when you were a young child and were ready, willing and able to do something? You jumped right in, only to have the hand, or words, of your parent, a teacher or other adult pull you back? They said it was too dangerous, or many other different reasons. I remember when my son wanted to take karate lessons, and at first, I said no for just that reason. I thought it would be dangerous. He kept asking, so I said we would go and visit and watch a class. By the end of that class, I was entirely in favor of the program and enrolled him. He continued through high school and college and went on to establish a karate studio of his own and is a black belt in karate and jujutsu. https://www.kime-karate.com/ He is an awesome adult, and the principles of karate helped shape him. What if I had said no?

Think like a child and jump right into a new situation. We should not be scared to try something new. Kids are eager, and we should be too. Adults place limits on themselves all the time. We should stop that and go for it, jump right in.

  • Make some new friends. When you were a child, you always were eager to meet other people and be friends, especially other kids. There was no hesitation. They smile at complete strangers and they want to spend time with them. They want to know them. What is their name, where do they live, do they have siblings, do they have pets. They are ready to sit down and spend the afternoon. We should do that! Smile and ask questions. How easy is that? Maybe have coffee together. Make a friend.

As I am writing this, I am thinking of my granddaughter. She was just like that when she was little. No hesitation, there was just curiosity. She was eager to learn and be friends. Her eyes would light up when she saw another child.

  • Do not place limits on yourself. Remember when you were a child and it seemed like every aunt, uncle, and friend of the family, asked you what you wanted to be when you grew up? When you are a young child the possibilities seem limitless. We felt like we could be anything we wanted: Doctor, Lawyer, Indian Chief. As we get older that changes and we start to decide what we might want to be. Off you go to college, or not, and you start on the path you chose. Maybe you decided to be a teacher. Once you reach that goal and start teaching after a few years, you come to realize you don’t like being a teacher. So many of us do not even consider changing career paths even when we really want to.

Why limit ourselves? We didn’t limit ourselves when we were kids. Make a plan, go back to college and become a chef or whatever it is that is pulling you in a different direction. Maybe you are okay with being a teacher, but you want to teach in a different country or teach a different subject. Why not? If you are passionate about it, then try. Find a way to do it. Be happy.

  • Imagine the possibilities in life. When I was a child, I liked to be outside and watch the clouds and let my thoughts drift. That is when I would imagine possibilities. I would think about the book I was reading and what the characters were doing, believing that I could too. Relax and use your imagination. To this day, I am drawn to the outside and that is where I still imagine the possibilities. As an adult there are so many opportunities, but we usually decide no. Stop doing that!
  • Decide to change things up. Sometimes life dishes up some garbage. That is when we need to do something just for ourselves. Change your perspective. You know you will have to deal with the garbage at some point, but take a moment. Call a friend & go for coffee or a movie. Do some yoga or go for a run. Just sit and look at those beautiful clouds, or read a book. Remember when you were a kid, and your Mom wanted you to take out that garbage? You didn’t, you jumped on your bike and went to your friend’s house, or to the park to play basketball. Think like a kid and do that.
  • Don’t think or care so much about what other people think. That is a big one. Everybody is programmed to care, and there is a valid reason for that, but not about everything. When we are kids, we ask whatever is on our minds. I remember the gasp or the pull on my arm and then the look or the shake of my mother’s head. She was sending me the message you shouldn’t ask that. Sure, I get that, but that is how we learn. There are so many times I look back at my adult life and wish I has asked a question. We need to ask more questions. That is how we learn and how we get to the bottom of problems.

We also need to loosen up, if only just a tad, and stop being so serious. If someone looks askance at you, so what. As long as it is in good taste and you don’t hurt anyone’s feelings, it is okay. In the blink of an eye, it will be over and forgotten.

  • We can learn every day of our life. Kids do, and so should adults. It comes naturally with a child because they want to learn about everything. We should not stop as we get older. We should be curious, and we should still experience the wonder of learning. Go to the library and find a fascinating book about a subject you know nothing about or a another culture or country. Listen to a podcast such as TED talks. Stimulate your brain. It is good for you.

A child can teach an adult three things: to be happy for no reason, to always be busy with something, and to know how to demand with all his might that which he desires.

Paulo Coelho

Act like a child today. Dance in the rain, jump in a puddle, or lay in the grass and gaze at the clouds in wonderment. Call a friend and ask if they want to play too.

As always, thank you for reading my blog. Have a great day.