Posted in Coping, Depression, Grief, Inspiration, Life, Personal Development, Positive Thinking

Resilience – What To Do When Life Knocks You Down

What Is Resilience, Do You Have It, And How Can You Get It?

Photo by Waldemar Brandt on Unsplash

“Resilience is knowing that you are the only one that has the power and the responsibility to pick yourself up.” 

Mary Holloway

Resilience is that indefinable quality that allows some people to be knocked down by life and come back at least as strong as before, and quite possibility better, stronger.

A large portion of the population is likely at any given time immersed in what could be considered a life altering experience. How we respond to it defines us as a person.

We encounter something that shocks us and knocks us down; takes us to our knees and overpowers us. We are left with a feeling of disbelief, a wave of grief, or seismic depression. How can we move forward when we are filled with doubt and despair?

It does not matter what event it may be. There is no need to put a name to it. Life is full of such experiences, and there seems to be more of them every day in this crazy world we live in. Each of us will, at some point, be overwhelmed by mind-numbing pain or hardship. Each of us will respond differently, and what we feel is the best we can do at the time. Some of us may choose to accept a new normal and not be able to move on. Others will not accept that and will fight back and be stronger as a result because of their resilience.

Resilience is not a superhuman ability. It is hard work and requires a sustained effort. The length of time needed to get to a new normal will vary, and be different for each person. Your mental outlook before this experience will help determine how you handle your adjustment, and the length of time required.

The type of person you were, and how you responded to any event, good or bad, will affect how you handle your response now. People who previously had a positive outlook and optimistic attitude should have an easier adjustment. If you can self regulate your emotions, control any powerful feelings, and impulsive responses, it will help you lower the level of stress you experience.

If you were a positive person previously with confidence in your abilities, that would help you to plan for what needs to be accomplished to be able to move forward. Your problem-solving and communication skills are important and will help you adapt to what may be an altered new life.

Part of being resilient is maintaining your connections with your support group; the people you turn to in times of need. You can turn to your close family members and friends, as well as any groups you are part of such as a church or social group.

It is essential to accept that change is part of life. Life is a continually evolving event, and includes good and bad. It may be difficult to accept the changes that result in a significant shift in your everyday life.

It may not be easy to accept what happened, and it may appear to be insurmountable, something you cannot handle. It is imperative to look beyond what happened to the possibility of the future, the potential for the pain to ease, emotions to calm, and healing to occur. Look for small improvements and focus on them and look for additional ways to move forward.

Goals are a part of life, big or little they are important. They were important to you before, and they are even more important after a negative, life changing event. They should always be an important part of your life.

We learn the most about ourselves in moments of stress and negativity. Like it or not, when we experience challenging events, we are faced with difficult decisions. Decisions we thought we would never have to make. Our perspective changes. We gain a sense of purpose and confidence we may not have had before. We place more value in our relationships and appreciate the value of how we spend our time.

As with everything in life it is so important to maintain a hopeful outlook and keep everything in perspective. Visualize what you want to achieve, focus on the positive, and do not dwell on the fear and negativity.

Always be aware of your attitude and include taking care of yourself. Feed your body and mind with a healthy diet and exercise your body to maintain your energy. It can be helpful to write about your feelings when you have experienced stressful events or to practice a soothing activity such as yoga or meditation.

If you feel overwhelmed and are finding it difficult to find your way out of the trauma, look for help. Find a support group, or talk to a professional, to help you move forward.

Life is a journey, and it is full of ups and downs, with some unexpected obstacles along the way. It is good to have a plan for what you want to do on your journey. It is also good to understand that there may be a fork in the road, or an unexpected cliff, where we have to take a different path. We should plan and be prepared for those too.

 “There comes a time in your life, when you walk away from all the drama and people who create it. You surround yourself with people who make you laugh. Forget the bad and focus on the good. Love the people who treat you right, pray for the ones who do not. Life is too short to be anything but happy. Falling down is a part of life, getting back up is living.”

– José N. Harris

As always, thank you for reading my blog. Have a great day.

Posted in Excitement, Inspiration, Learning, Life, Personal Development, Positive Thinking

Quote Of The Day

We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit.”

Aristotle
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As always, thank you for stopping by. Have an excellent day!

Posted in Inspiration, Learning, Motivation, Personal Development, Positive Thinking, Potential, Self Improvement

Consistency And Why It Is Important – A Strategy To Try

Photo by Nicola Ricca on Unsplash

Success is neither magical nor mysterious. Success is the natural consequence of consistently applying basic fundamentals.”

  ― E. James Rohn

For success in business and every aspect of our life, we talk about doing many things.

We read about and listen to virtually the same nuggets of information over and over again. Such as:

We need to be learning new things by taking classes, reading books, and listening to webinars. We have to set goals, be willing to change, and adapt to every situation.

We should be aware of what is going on around us, be able to present ourselves in a certain way, and be able to read and understand body language.

We should not fear competition and use it as a challenge to do better. We need to believe in ourselves and we should find support, such as a mentor, family members, and friends.

We should always keep trying, and if we fail, we need to look at what did not work, make some changes, and try again. We can use failure as a challenge to do better.

We should value diversity, not be afraid of what might appear different, be willing to change to be better, and respect the ideas of others.

We should always live in the moment, not dwell on the past, or focus on the future; focus on today.

We should set goals and maintain a schedule.

These are all exactly what we should be doing. Most of do these things or attempt to on some level. What brings them together, and what helps us to be successful is consistency.

Consistency is like the glue that holds everything together. When we practice being consistent, we can develop a routine and build momentum. Being consistent develops new habits.

That is where I think we let ourselves down; we do not follow through. We set goals, and we have our schedules, and we may do them for a while, but then we stop.

We all have goals that we do not follow through on. Mine is exercise. I have no excuse, I have the time, but I always push it off to do something else; like writing. I will get on my treadmill a couple of times a week; better than nothing, but far from enough.

“It’s not what we do once in a while that shapes our lives. It’s what we do consistently.”

― Anthony Robbins

Is there a magic pill that will help you be consistent? No, but I did read about something this morning that makes perfect sense. I’m not sure it will work for you or me, but it is worth a try.

It is called the paper clip strategy. I found this article this morning published in Business Insider: https://www.businessinsider.com/the-paper-clip-strategy-2015-4

It tells the story of a 23-year-old stockbroker who was successful because of a strategy he used. Each morning he would place two jars on his desk. He filled one jar with 120 paper clips and the other was empty. He would make business phone calls, and each time he completed a call, he would transfer one paper clip to the other jar. He continued making calls, doing no other tasks, until all the paper clips had been transferred into the other jar.

The use of the paper clips or any other object you might choose gives you a visual cue. Being able to transfer all the paper clips each day consistently will form a habit, and it is an easy way for each of us to keep motivated and feel successful.

So how am I going to incorporate this technique? There are some suggestions in the Business Insider article that resonated with me because I need to do them. I need to drink more water, and I am not good at doing it; I focus on it for a day or two, and then I conveniently forget. Of course, there is the treadmill that sits right around the corner from where I am writing. I could also set a goal for the number of words to write each day or the number of stories.

I am going to give it a try. How about you? Nothing ventured, nothing gained.

Success is the sum of small efforts, repeated day-in and day-out.

Robert Collier

As always, thank you for reading my blog. Have a paper clip day!

Posted in Inspiration, Joy, Learning, Life, Personal Development, Positive Thinking, Potential

Quote Of The Day

Life is really simple, but we insist on making it complicated.

Confucius
Photo by Anrick Bregman on Unsplash

As always, thank your for stopping by. Practice mindfulness today.

Posted in Excitement, Inspiration, Joy, Life, Motivation, Personal Development, Positive Thinking

Quote Of The Day

Sing the song that only you can sing, write the book that only you can write, build the product that only you can build… live the life that only you can live.

 Naval Ravikant
Photo by Austin Wade on Unsplash

As always, thank you for stopping by. Sing your song today!

Posted in Inspiration, Learning, Life, Personal Development, Positive Thinking, Self Improvement

Is Patience Becoming A Lost Art? How You Can Improve Your Ability To Be More Patient

Photo by Anthony Ginsbrook on Unsplash

“Water does not resist. Water flows. When you plunge your hand into it, all you feel is a caress. Water is not a solid wall, it will not stop you. But water always goes where it wants to go, and nothing in the end can stand against it. Water is patient. Dripping water wears away a stone. Remember that, my child. Remember you are half water. If you can’t go through an obstacle, go around it. Water does.”

Margaret Atwood, The Penelopiad

Patience: quiet, steady perseverance; even-tempered care; diligence: to work with patience or the ability to keep calm in the face of disappointment, distress or suffering, 

A excellent ability, patience. Do you spend time with someone who has forgotten the concept? Doesn’t it irritate you when they are always displaying their quick flair of anger at the tiniest thing? The computer file does not load fast enough, traffic is slow, they have to wait in line, or when someone places them on hold while on the telephone.

I wonder if they realize the effect they may have on someone who is a witness to their behavior. When I see someone’s lack of patience, I find it irritating and sometimes depressing.

I would prefer to spend time with that patient beagle in the picture above then a person who continually displays a lack of patience.

There was an article I read recently that referenced a woman who was always cheerful and polite at her customer service position. She received an offer for a job at a firm that was her dream position because of her positive attitude, which included a large dose of patience. Do you think she would have been offered that same position if she displayed impatience with her customers every day?

Most of us occasionally have a bad day when we lose our patience, but then we bounce right back. It is concerns me that I see more people displaying impatience and poor behavior like it is reasonable and acceptable.

We can learn to control impatience by determining what triggers that response. Is it standing in line? Is it a traffic detour or construction zone with a flagman that infuriates you?

When that happens, start by taking a deep breath and thinking about what is making you impatient. It may be inconvenient, or you visualize it that way, but is it really? Is it a five-minute delay? In the context of your day is that a big deal? No, it is not.

My husband and I go almost everywhere together. I am his driver because his health requires it. I take him somewhere like the post office, or a book sale, he goes inside, and I wait. God bless him, he is a talker, and what should be a short stop may often turn into a longer time. I understand his need to have personal contact, and it is beneficial for him, but when I sit and think about what I want to do for the day I could be irritated, but I have chosen not to be. I always have a notebook with me, and I use that time to make a grocery list or reorganize my appointment list, jot down ideas for writing, etc. I will listen to music, or I will take a book to read.

It should be easy to find a simple solution to what may be a problem for many. There is always a way to fill the few minutes you have to wait. Listen to music, think about what movie you want to watch, or what you are going to do on the weekend. Easy Peasy.

Another enlightening practice might be to view the situation and take a step back; have you done the same thing yourself? The answer may be yes. In this busy world we live in, it appears that we all want to be first at some point or another. Use that reflection to learn and grow. Hopefully, it will help you stop the next time, and react more positively.

Practice mindfulness. Mindfulness is the ability to stay in the moment, the here and now, without any judgment. When we make mindfulness a daily habit, the tendency we have to put ourselves first, and to become impatient when we have to wait, should become a non-event. We have better awareness and control of our emotions, and we respond better to adverse events, such as having to wait in a long line, etc.

“Mindfulness means being awake. It means knowing what you are doing.” 

— Jon Kabat-Zinn

Modify your time schedules. I know someone who is always late; you can bet money on it. If you have that tendency, and you are easily irritated when something happens to hold you up, you need to make some changes. Why add stress to your life by trying to do too much, or not being realistic about the time required.

Make a schedule for each day and be realistic about your goals for the day. Rearrange your schedule, delete what is not necessary, or move something to another day. No one knows you like you do. No one can make you move faster, plan better, or be more realistic. All those things only you can control.

As we look at the world today, it is apparent that we all need to practice patience. We need to slow down, take a deep breath, smile, relax, and wait. Live in the moment always.

Patience is not the ability to wait. Patience is to be calm no matter what happens, constantly take action to turn it to positive growth opportunities, and have faith to believe that it will all work out in the end while you are waiting.”

Roy T. Bennett,

As always, thank you for reading my blog. Practice Patience today.

Posted in Excitement, Learning, Life, Motivation, Personal Development, Positive Thinking, Potential

Quote Of The Day

“Whatever the mind can conceive and believe, the mind can achieve.”

Napoleon Hill
Photo by Jonathan Andrew from Pexels

As always, thanks for stopping by. What do you believe?