Posted in Coping, Death, Elderly, Life, Positive Thinking

The Doubt And Fear Of The Coronavirus Pandemic

Photo by Joe Beck on Unsplash

Truth be told, it scares the bejesus out of me. At first I was okay; we can do this. I still had this other world feeling. No one really had much information and I felt disconnected. Then as more and more facts, and non-facts, were put forth I was like “shit”, we are all in trouble.

When I wake up in the morning it is what I think of first and it is the last thing I think about at night as I go to bed. The fear and uncertainty wakes me during the night and disrupts my sleep.

I am trying to take a step back and calm down.

“Smile, breathe, and go slowly.”

Thich Nhat Hanh

Don’t misunderstand, I am not in a full force panic, it is more like a slow simmer which sometimes I can start to feel boil over. Like the image above I feel like there is a fog surrounding me and I can’t see through it to the other side. I do not know what is there. What will happen?

We are cautious. We stay at home and we practice social distancing. We do not visit anyone, nor do we have others come to our home. We wash our hands. I am learning as we go what are the best practices and following those.

Today we needed computer paper and my husband wanted to go to Walmart. My heart fluttered. I did not want to go. We did have to go to the post office and while he was inside my husband mentioned what he needed to do. The person behind the counter offered to buy the paper when she went shopping this evening. How nice is that? She knows my husband is at risk and she told him we should not attempt it ourselves.

When we go shopping I am the one going into the store, although my husband has ventured in a few times. He will not be doing that in the future. Sine the beginning of this pandemic I have always worn gloves while shopping but I am going to be more cautious from now on. The next time we go grocery shopping I am wearing a protective mask and gloves.

Last night we were given advice from a medical professional in regard to my husband’s health condition. My husband has COPD and his lungs are already dying so he is at high risk. The instructions we received were that he should stay home. When I arrive home from shopping I should remove my shoes and leave them outside. Then I should remove all my clothing and it should immediately be washed. I should take a shower immediately as well.

My husband should not touch the groceries, the bags, etc. I will need to wash and disinfect everything I bring into the house.

Sounds extreme doesn’t it? It is just not worth the risk of not doing this.

None of us, even the experts, know exactly what to expect or how long this will last. It is having a huge impact on our lives and I believe life will be slightly altered as we come out on the other side. There will be a greater appreciation of all the small things we took for granted before the virus.

In the meantime I am practicing the advice of Thich Nhat Hanh in the quote above…I will smile, breathe, and go slowly.

I wish all of you the very best. Stay safe and I look forward to living on the other side of the fog.

Thank you for stopping by today and reading my blog.

Posted in Coping, Death, Friendship, Life, Positive Thinking, Success

The Coronavirus And How We React May Change Us Forever

Photo by Hello I’m Nik 🎞 on Unsplash

“I savor life. When you have anything that threatens life… it prods you into stepping back and really appreciating the value of life and taking from it what you can.”

~ Sonia Sotomayor

Everyone values life…but that is not true. I wish it were true, but it isn’t.

The grim reaper is walking among us and how we react will either save us or end our life and the lives of others.

When I started this blog my intention was to improve my life, make me a stronger, better, person. Writing has impacted my life and made me want to do more, live longer, and with intention.

I never expected a pandemic. I never expected the fear and uncertainty. Here we all are with the threat of sickness and death; the possibility of life as we know it changing forever.

How many people will lose a loved one, a family member, a dear friend, or some of the many people we interact with each day and take for granted?

Am I scared? Of course, all of us would be very foolish not to be frightened. We need to take a pause, a long moment of reflection, to step back and evaluate what is important.

In America, in my opinion, we are used to taking things for granted. We have, for the most part, a good life. Life may not always be easy and certainly it is not fair for everyone. There are inequalities.

The day in, day out, rhythm of our life is steady and what we expect. You may not agree with me but for the most part when something bad has happened in another country, or in another city or state, we have the tendency to think not here, not to us.

We cannot escape the Coronavirus. It does not discriminate, it does not care where we live, what we look like, or what we do for a living.

We are faced with a pandemic and it is up to each of us to do whatever we can to protect ourselves, our family and our loved ones.

There are many people telling us what we should do. Be careful who you listen to. Your life may depend on whose instructions you follow.

I choose to listen to the scientific experts such as the World Health Organization and the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.

“The good thing about science is that it’s true whether or not you believe in it.”

Neil deGrasse Tyson

We need to follow the guidelines from the experts, the scientists, doctors and nurses. Practice distancing, wash your hands, stay at home and only go out for necessities such as groceries and doctor appointments. Protect your self.

Please do not listen to, or follow, the recommendations of President Trump. It could be the death of you if you believe him. Take a few moments and read this article from the NYTimes:

This is not a political issue, it is a health issue and one we need to take seriously. Protect yourself and follow the guidelines from the scientists. Please!

I am not going to write a long article because I want you to read this and hopefully take it to heart. At the end of this pandemic, some of my readers may be victims of this virus. I hope not, and I hope I will be here to continue to write and continue to grow and become a better, stronger person. That is what I want for all of you.

“The value of life is revealed when it confronts death from close quarters.”

Apoorve Dubey

As always, thanks so much for reading. Have a wonderful day.

Posted in Coping, Death, Friendship, Grief, Life, Positive Thinking


Photo by Annie Spratt on Unsplash

I just realized I did not post a quote yesterday. The day is actually a blur, static screaming in my ears, and sorrow filling my heart.

When i walked to the barn yesterday morning and turned the corner to the paddock I saw my horse there on the ground. She was old and her health was not good; her body was giving up on her.

My heart protested, and I called her name. She raised her head and nickered to me in response.

I ran toward the barn, through the fence and sat by her. She again raised her head, looking at me and nickered softly. I stayed, rubbing her neck, talking to her telling her it was okay, it was time to go.

Our other horse stood near by, sometimes prancing and nickering to her friend. She would come close and smell and gently touch her pasture mate. She knew what was happening because it had happened once before.

After a time, I went to the house and told my husband and I called the vet asking them to please come and help with my sweet mares passing. Then I went back and sat talking to her, rubbing her, and hopefully helping her be calm. She knew her time with us was over.

We waited for an hour or so until the vet arrived. It was such a sad time, just her and me.

My husband was there briefly and looked at her from a distance, and started to walk away. I called to him and asked if he was going to come say goodbye. He has a difficult time processing his emotions. He hesitated and then climbed through the fence.

It torn my heart as she heard him and she lifted her head nickering to him and trying desperately to get up.

When the vet arrived, it was just us three females. the horse, myself, and the vet. I am glad I had the capacity and the compassion to be there with my sweet horse as she eased into death.

Somewhere…somewhere in time’s own space, there must be some sweet pastured space where creeks sing on and tall trees grow. Some paradise where horses go. For the love that guides my pen, I know great horses live again.”

Stanley Harrison

Thank you for reading.

Posted in Communication, Death, Inspiration, Joy, Life, Motivation, Positive Thinking

Why We Should Plan For Our Death, It’s Been On My Mind And It’s Okay, It Makes Me Feel Better

Dream as if you’ll live forever. Live as if you’ll die today.

James Dean

I have been thinking about death lately. It’s okay, I do not want to die, at least, not today. I am not eager to die, but I know it is inevitable and can happen at any time.

This winter has been bearing down on me. Not the winter itself, but happenings. I recently witnessed a life being taken and it has weighed me down. You can read about it here:

I have not been able to escape the sadness of that experience.

What is worse though is watching my husband being ever so slowly taken down by COPD. He has been sick this week afflicted with pain, not able to eat, and less able to function. It has been excruciating for him, and for me as I stand by not knowing how to help or how to cope for us both.

So, yes, death is on my mind.

When I think of death, I also think of life. That is why thinking about death is okay.

There are benefits to thinking about death.

Somebody should tell us, right at the start of our lives, that we are dying. Then we might live life to the limit, every minute of every day. Do it! I say. Whatever you want to do, do it now! There are only so many tomorrows.

~ Pope Paul VI

We are limited in our time. We come with an expiration date, we just do not know what it is. That is why we should be mindful of how we spend our time, each and every moment of it. Our time is precious.

When we are young it feels like we have years spreading out before us to do everything that we want, or feel we need, to do. Sure, that may be true for many of us, but not guaranteed.

For me, since I am older, I do not foresee as many years. My life span is shortening so I do not have as many expectations. BUT that fact motivates me to do more now before the door slams shut.

So thinking about death is a motivator. It is not gruesome to be aware that we have a limited time. We should be aware and we should push ourselves a bit harder to do those things we care about.

The purpose of life, after all, is to live it, to taste experience to the utmost, to reach out eagerly and without fear for newer and richer experience.

Eleanor Roosevelt

We all have the tendency not to talk about death. It makes us uncomfortable. Maybe it would be better if we did talk about it.

We leave a lot of unspoken thoughts and feelings behind us. If we talked about death, and how it makes us feel, would it be easier for those we leave behind? I think it would be better for everyone.

You would know you shared your important moments, thoughts and beliefs. They would have the comfort of knowing those truths, knowing your thoughts, and not be left questioning the unknown.

How many times have you started to ask a parent or a good friend something you really want to know but did not because you thought that you did not have enough time, and decided you would ask the next time.

Take the time because you may never have another opportunity to ask. You will always wish you knew the answer.

If we knew we were dying tomorrow would we spend time worrying about the the little things that bother us. You know, all the small stuff.

We all have small stuff, the things that irritate us, like my old age wrinkles or the way my husbands hearing makes it seem like he is not paying attention. In the scheme of things it doesn’t matter. We are both still here wrinkles and all.

“Every day, it’s important to ask and answer these questions: “What’s good in my life?” and What needs to be done?”

~ Nathaniel Branden

Each morning I wake up and tell myself it is going to be a good day. I appreciate the fact that I am here and I have the opportunity to enjoy the day.

Growing older has allowed me to slow down and appreciate life more. I know I do not have as much time. My days here are more limited and I appreciate the message old age sends me each day.

My approach to each day is somewhat different than when I was younger, but everyone’s approach should be more mindful. Would your approach to the days events change if you knew you had a limited amount of time left to live? That is how we should approach each day.

Life is a great big canvas, and you should throw all the paint on it you can.”

Danny Kaye

So contemplate death, your own and the ones in your life you love and cherish. No need to be morbid, just be mindful. Appreciate each moment you have. Slow down, think, feel and cherish.

What color paint are you going to throw on your canvas today?

As always, thank you so much for reading my blog.

Posted in Bigotry, Coping, Death, Grief, Killing, Political, Tradegy

When Tragedy Strikes – Mass Shootings In America

Photo by Vladimir Palyanov on Unsplash

We all have expectations. There is a picture in our head of our perfect life. Those are our hopes and dreams.

As we experience each day, there is a rhythm, like a song we hum in our head. It is our life moving forward as we planned it. Each day fits inside our plan with some minor variations caused by the unexpected. Those small bumps that happen but they are minor. Nothing too eventful. We make some adjustments and then the rhythm continues.

Until that changes.

We don’t plan for those significant events that can come crashing down on us. The nasty events that are part of life, no one plans for them. We acknowledge that there is always a possibility of something life- shattering to hit us and obliterate us, but no one ever thinks it will happen.

When it does,life as we know it is gone, changed forever. There is no rhythm, the song we hummed in our head is over, it is out of tune, and there is no longer any comfort in it.

As I was beginning to write today, I was drawn to this topic. I did not understand why. It was making me uncomfortable. There have been no tragedies or life-altering events in my life or anyone close to me. I had no reason to write about this, and it was off topic of anything I would choose to write.

I was uncomfortable enough that I was contemplating deleting what I had written and start over. So I decided to take a break. I went outside with my dog and cat for a walk.

When I came back inside, my feelings had not changed, so I made a cup of coffee and decided to play a computer game. I felt I needed to understand this. As I was casually playing the game, my thoughts were weaving in and out of this writing topic. Then it dawned on me. I can put a name to it.

Two mass shootings within 24 hours. One in El Paso, Texas and one in Dayton, Ohio. It is overwhelming, and I did not realize the impact it was having on me.

How do the families of the victims cope? I cannot get my head around it. How do you adjust to it? This tragedy takes me back to Sandy Hook and the disbelief I felt that day. I was awash with grief for the parents and the siblings, other family members, and for the community. Sadness and grief overtook me then and again today.

I choose not to offer ways to cope today for these families or their communities. There are better people than I to take on that enormous task. I can only offer you my grief and my love and depth of feeling. Words do not suffice today.

We cannot let this continue. It has to stop. It cannot become our “new normal” as I heard questioned last night on the national news.

How have we come to this place in time? Why is there so much hate? Why the urge to kill those we do not know? Why are some of us so intolerant?

We cannot eliminate hate, but we can soften it, educate and change some people’s perspective. There will always be killings in some form or another.

It is time for change, and it is up to us. It is our responsibility.

There is one thing we can do. We can demand, as is our right, to ban any form of an assault rifle in the hands of any individual. These guns were created and designed for use by the military. That is where they belong.

An individual does not need a mass killing weapon.

I firmly believe that all assault-style weapons should be made illegal and confiscated.

Unfortunately, our President and the members of Congress, in particular, the Republicans, have not accepted their duty to do so.

Mass shootings should not be a political issue, but they are. The politicians are a large part of the problem. Those with their hands extended, accepting the money from lobbyists, in particular, the NRA. It should not be a money issue, but sadly, there will be money made.

It is not a mental illness issue or a hatred issue. It is not a glorification of violence or about troubled youth watching video games.

This is a moral issue. It is a compassion issue and a love for humanity issue.

It is bigger than any one individual. This is about all of us.

By not addressing the ability of any assault weapon to kill multiple people very quickly, we are showing to the world that Americans have no moral compass. We can save lives. Why aren’t we? Pass the damn law.

Only with gun violence do we respond to repeated tragedies by saying that mourning is acceptable but discussing how to prevent more tragedies is not. But that’s unacceptable. As others have observed, talking about how to stop mass shootings in the aftermath of a string of mass shootings isn’t ‘too soon”. It’s much too late.

Ezra Klein

As always, thank your for reading my blog. Have an uneventful day. I wish you all well.