Believe in life. Believe in your dreams. Believe in miracles. Believe it’s possible. Believe in friendship. Believe in peace. Believe in love. Believe in yourself.”~ Unknown author #Life #Dreams #Quote
Solitude matters, and for some people, it’s the air they breathe.”Susan Cain
Being successful at work is not easy, and for some of us, it is even more difficult because we have an introverted personality.
What exactly is an introverted personality? If you are an introvert, you already understand, but for clarification here is the definition from Vocabulary.com: It describes a person who tends to turn inward mentally. Introverts sometimes avoid large groups of people, feeling more energized by time alone.
I am an introvert, and I like it. I prefer the company of myself and a few select people. I am OK being by myself, and I do prefer it. I am content.
While working, it was difficult for me. I did not fit the mold. I was not outgoing enough; I did not like chit chat or mingling. It was a long-term effort for me to adjust and to become successful.
I was successful because I was intelligent, observant, and willing to work hard by spending extra time and being more thorough. I was polite to everyone and respectful of others. I learned to walk the walk and talk the talk. Sometimes, that made me very uncomfortable.
Many times, introverts are often passed over at work for their more flashy co-workers. Your work has to be very, very good, and you have to be very determined to succeed. If you make your work shine enough, it can by-pass the glitter of an extrovert who does not put forth the determined effort required. You can shine; it is just harder for people to recognize.
You have to work hard and have an outstanding work ethic, but other actions will help you move forward.
Your interpersonal skills should be a top priority. You have to be able to read and understand the actions of others. What is their body language telling you? Their expressions and body movements will tell a story, and you will be able to gauge their reaction to you. Pay attention because this is a tool for you to use. If you want to be successful, you have to build a rapport with the people at the top. They have to feel comfortable around you, but they also want you to be comfortable as well. If you are comfortable, they will have confidence in your ability to interact with customers.
To summarize, here are 5 steps to take that will help you be successful at work:
- Develop your non-verbal communication. – Make eye contact and learn to walk into a room with your head held high. Do not slouch or lean forward or look down; it will give off a negative impression. Walk into a room and zero in on someone, make eye contact and smile. Walk up to someone and extend your hand. Fake it until you make it. Practice if you have to. Every time you get up from your desk straighten your back, stand straight and smile; even when there is no one around.
- Develop your speaking skills. – Again, practice if you have to. Watch other people who are successful and listen when they speak. The words you use, the way you phrase your words, and the tone of your voice will speak volumes. Listen to other public speakers. Go online and search for videos of professional speakers. Take a speaking course or join Toastmasters. I took a college speech class, and I am so happy I did because, my job, as I became more successful, required me to do presentations and give speeches. Practice, practice, practice – stand in front of a mirror and record yourself. Listening to your self can be eye-opening.
- Be more social.- Being more social was challenging for me, and I never became comfortable. It is, however, essential. Force yourself to chit-chat. Get up from your desk and go out of your way to interact with other people. It was much easier for me to talk casually with my customers than my co-workers. It was more difficult to have casual conversations with higher-level people in the organization. The more I cared, based on my perception of their importance, the more difficult it was for me to relax. Remember, they are just people, and they are not better than you. Try to change your perspective.
- Did I mention Smiling? Of course, I did, but it is so important. It makes you more comfortable, and it relaxes the other person as well. When you smile, you appear more confident. It also makes us appear more approachable. Think about it; who are you more easily drawn to when you walk into a room? Is it the person who looks away, keeps a straight face, and is leaning forward in their chair or is it the person who looks up, makes eye contact, and smiles. The smile wins every time.
- Be a Chameleon.- When you are an introvert, it is so comfortable to be by ourselves, but when working in a business environment, it is necessary to act more like an extrovert. It is possible, and in some situations, it is easy and can feel comfortable. As always, practice makes perfect. When you know you will be required to mingle with others, be they your equals or the higher-ups, think ahead to topics of conversations you can use. If you know someone has a particular interest, use that, and if you don’t know, then ask them. Ask them open-ended questions that will get them speaking. The more you do this, the more comfortable you will become in those situations.
Gather in all your skills, work hard, be consistent, and continuously look for ways to improve. Introverts bring a great deal to the table and are valuable assets in a business. Practice and refine extrovert actions and add them to the mix. You can be successful.
In a gentle way, you can shake the world.”Mahatma Gandhi
As always, thank you for reading my blog. Have a great day.
Are you aware of the effect you have when you walk into a room full of people?
“The time men spend in trying to impress others they could spend in doing the things by which others would be impressed.”~ Frank Romer
When someone walks into a room, all eyes will turn, and within seconds a judgment will be made.
Sometimes it is “Wowser, look at him!” Other times you look away; not impressed.
What sparks the “Wow” response? Why does your gaze linger? Is it the clothes, or is it something else? What do you see and what do you feel?
Sometimes there is an essence, a magnetism; maybe a sexual response.
Certainly, the clothes matter and in business, you will hear the statement, “dress for success” often. There is a psychological reason for it. Your clothing affects how you act and feel. When you dress well, and you know you look good, your confidence level is higher, and you perform better. Your appearance will also have a psychological effect on others; the people you work with, your customers, and virtually anyone in the room.
The English idiom “don’t judge a book by its cover” is a metaphorical phrase that means one shouldn’t prejudge the worth or value of something by its outward appearance alone.
What we wear paints a picture, but the image we present is so much more than the clothes we wear.
When you walk into a room, you do so with intent. What is lurking inside that veneered cover? What else is important?
What happens when you have a conversation and have to answer a question? Your response and your ability to articulate can make or break you. If your appearance is a facade, you are in trouble; that essence you gave off just evaporated into thin air.
A voice can also be magnetic and can draw someone in, relax, or excite them. The words you choose are essential and can show your knowledge and intelligence, but the tone of your voice is equally important. A clear, confident voice spoken in a well-modulated tone will have a positive impact on the listener.
As soon as you are in a conversation with someone, the ability to be a good listener is imperative. No discussion is one-sided. If you want to impress someone, stop talking, ask them a question, and let them talk. Watch the body language of the other person and ask them clarifying questions. Make eye contact and perhaps lean in toward the other person indicating your interest in them and their opinion.
The way you walk into the room and the way you speak is affected by your attitude. You have probably heard the term, “fake it till you make it.” I would not recommend attempting to fake your attitude. Your attitude shines through virtually everything you do. It shows in your facial expression, your eyes, your smile, body position, and movements, to name just a few. Your attitude is transparent. You cannot fake being positive or energetic. You can try, but I would not advise it. Organizations look for people who have a passion for life and show their enthusiasm through their actions and words. You cannot fake that!
We should all be excellent at communication, but we are not. Communication is a learned skill and no one is perfect. There are many simple techniques which you can practice each day to become better.
Some of the most common mistakes and the most irritating in my opinion are people who do not look at me when I am speaking. You can see that they are not listening and are already thinking about what they are going to say. Worse yet is being interrupted, or having someone walk away, while I am still talking. Yes, people do that!
Don’t do that. Instead, look for ways to improve.
Here a few tips:
- Spend more time listening, not talking.
- Focus on the other person, make eye contact, move toward them, not away.
- Ask plenty of questions and then clarify their intent.
- Never interrupt.
- Avoid finishing someone’s sentence.
- When you are unsure of what the other person is saying, pause when they are done speaking. Let them know you want to clarify and then ask them a question.
- Do not think about what you are going to reply until the other person has stopped talking.
How you dress, your non-verbal cues, and how you speak are all integral parts of how you communicate. Do them each with great care. We take our suits to the dry cleaners and we press our shirts. We should do the same with our verbal and non-verbal communication skills.
“One man is more concerned with the impression he makes on the rest of mankind, another with the impression the rest of mankind makes on him.”~ Arthur Schopenhauer
As always, thank ou for reading my blog. Have a successful day.
This article was originally published at Medium.com, https://medium.com/@lindalatt
Eyes wide open or so I thought. I decided I wanted to start a blog, and it has been interesting, to say the least. Not exactly what I expected. It is more.
My interest in blogging was born from intrigue. I was so curious about my sons and what they were doing. One is posting videos on YouTube, and one develops websites and has a Social Media Management business. It planted a seed in my mind.
Their interest became my interest, and my mind went whirling. Did I want to attempt something, and if so, what? I had absolutely no knowledge of anything to do with Social Media. I was not on Facebook or Twitter, and I do not even have a cell phone. Definitely behind the times. *** their sites are listed at the bottom of this article.
I settled on writing a blog. Anyone can write, can’t they? That’s true in a sense, but can everyone write well? Then there was everything else that goes along with a blog. Who knew? Certainly, not me.
You have to either create your website or find a platform to write on. I could not afford to pay someone to build my website & I definitely was not going to do it myself. So I started researching for an alternative. I chose a free WordPress blog site, and my journey began.
To help understand my journey and the angst I have felt from time to time here is my real reason for starting my blog. I am a 73-year-old woman who has been retired for years. I was looking for an outlet to express myself and to keep my mind active. I was feeling stagnant and did not like the feeling.
The name of my blog is, “adjusting my time frame,” which references my age and my mindset. I did not want to stay still and accept that this was all there is. I felt like I was falling behind and becoming the stereotypical “old” person. No, I am not ready for that—time to do some adjusting.
How do I like it? Most of the time, I love it. There have been moments when I have wondered what the heck am I doing. It has been downright frustrating at times.
Not being proficient on social media made it difficult in the beginning, and there is still so much for me to learn. Just creating my blog space on WordPress was a lot of work for me. I have always been able to learn fairly quickly, but this was a challenge at times. There were lots of choices and decisions.
I just kept picking away at it. Each day I would read and analyze, and then one day, I just decided to go for it and hit the publish button. That felt really good! Now when I look back at my first few blogs, I laugh. It has been about six months now, and I have learned so much.
Sometimes I get frustrated because with blogging comes the lust for acceptance and approval. Each time I published a post, I was looking to see how many people read it, how many people liked it, and how many people followed me. Did I receive any comments?
Like most humans, I like immediate gratification. I want everyone to love my blog. Silly isn’t it. I started the blog for myself, so I should be content with just that.
I have found that each time I write, I want it to be better. I want to be a great writer. I have found I have a lot to learn. I consider myself an acceptable writer but not really good and certainly not great.
Most of what I have experienced is so typical. There is nothing special about my experiences. I know I have to keep doing what I am doing, and I will improve as I go. So many people start a blog and become discouraged. That is easy to do.
I have stopped trying to do too much. At first, I researched and looked at so many promotional sites, places I had never even heard of before. I wasted a lot of time doing that, but I felt I had to play the promotional game. No, I don’t. Not for me, I just have to remain focused.
I am starting to relax a little and fall into a routine. I have established a set schedule and always post three times each week on the same days.
Everyone says it is essential to have a specialized niche when you write. My posts are mostly related to personal and professional growth.
The downside to that is I have many other topics I want to write about. So now I question my initial choice; if you are thinking of writing a blog that is an important thing to consider.
Spend a lot of time deciding what you want to write about. I cannot stress enough how important it is to be comfortable with either writing in a specific niche, or not.
To satisfy my interest in writing other topics, I have now started writing at Medium.Com. You can view my stories at: https://medium.com/@lindalatt
Am I happy I started my blog? Absolutely! Do I regret it in any way? Not at all. Blogging is an excellent way to express yourself. It is a place not only to share knowledge but also to gain knowledge. It does not matter what age you are, young or old, writing a blog can be beneficial for you.
Blogging was just what I needed. It has provided everything I was looking for and more. In some ways it’s magical!
As always, thank you for reading my blog. Create a little magic today!
“If you are insecure, guess what? The rest of the world is too. Do not overestimate the competition and underestimate yourself. You are better than you think.”–T. Harv Eker
As always, thanks for stopping by. Have fun with the competition today.
Try to be a rainbow in someone’s cloud.— Maya Angelou
As always, thanks for stopping by. Have a great day.
“I am bent, but not broken. I am scarred, but not disfigured. I am sad, but not hopeless. I am tired, but not powerless. I am angry, but not bitter. I am depressed, but not giving up.”Author unknown
I have a friend, a special friend…I think of her often. She wanders in and out of my thoughts.
Do you know how that feels? I miss her now that she is no longer here. We used to sit and drink coffee together and talk about random topics. Not important issues really, just the everyday events and experiences of life. We laughed! She had a knack for making you feel good.
I liked spending time with her, but we did not see each other often, not every week, and sometimes it would be a month or longer.
Then there was an inexplicable change. I could feel it, but I could not put my finger on it. There was a flash of feeling, a question. What was it?
We spent a bit more time together, she stopped by more often, and she asked to go with me a few extra times. Nothing dramatic or compelling, only slightly different. There was a whisper…..
Then, nothing. There were no emails, no phone calls, no visits…only silence.
It did not seem unusual at first; the difference was slight. It felt more like a shift back to the old normal. There used to be times when we did not talk or see each other. But it did not feel right.
Then there was an email. I was so excited. She was back. Open the darn thing, I could not open it fast enough. Where have you been?
Shock! It was not where have you been. It was where she was now.
She had turned her world upside down.
It all came rushing together. Now I understood. There had always been hints, little bits of insight about her home life, and there had been more chunks of it right before she disappeared. I knew she was unhappy, but I was stunned when I read her words.
There had been a small window of opportunity, and she jumped through it. She ran. There would not be any more casual conversations over coffee, not anytime soon.
She had been planning this for a very long time. There just needed to be that time, the right time. I had no clue.
I was stunned, and I was in awe of her. She was such a strong, scrappy woman. I sat there, re-read her email and cried. I was sad for her and what she had been hiding. She had told no one.
She was miles away, such a long way. In another state at the other end of the country, but I had no address yet, and no phone number to call. A request not to tell anyone and the information that someone would probably contact me looking for her. The plea, so urgent, please pretend you have not heard from me.
The call came, then again and again. So many questions. Where is she? Had I heard from her? He needed to know. He questioned why I did not know, why I could not answer him.
I lied, of course, I lied to him, over and over again. No, the answer I gave him, was always no. No, I have not heard from her. I am worried too; I hope she contacts you soon. When she does, please tell her I am thinking of her. They were all lies. He was not worthy of anything more than that. I would protect her.
He told me he was going to the police to file a missing person’s report. Shit! Now what? She does not want him to find her.
What should I do? She was going through so much, trying to settle in and make a new life. She was afraid. There was the constant worry that somehow he would find her.
I sent off an email, not sure it would reach her. She was in the process of changing everything. Please call me. I need to talk to you. Waiting for that call was agony.
I knew if he filed a missing person’s report, they would find her. He would know where she was. She called, and we talked for a long time. What should she do? She decided to contact one of his relatives. In the end, he did not file the report.
He never talked to her directly. Eventually, there was contact by email. He demanded she come back. He would change; things would be different. Yeah, when pigs fly!
She hired a lawyer. There were mutual investments and property. She had to deal with that, and eventually, it happened. Finally, it was no longer necessary for any contact. She still had the fear that he would find her.
Gradually life went on for my friend. She created a new life, but it was different. She was different. There was the never-ending relief that the relationship was over, but she was having a difficult time finding a new rhythm. There were so many changes.
It has been almost three years. I miss her. I miss the smiling face, the twinkle in her eyes, the warmth she radiated. She was, and, is my friend. I no longer take her for granted.
We still talk, of course, and email back and forth. It is not the same. The friendship and the way we care for each other has not changed. It is the same, but it is more intensified now. I want to be able to sit next to her and drink coffee. My dream is to surprise her. Buy a plane ticket and knock on her door.
You see now there is something new, a new threat, my friend has cancer.
What happens now? Will I ever see her again?