Posted in Coping, Depression, Learning, Life, Motivation, Positive Thinking

Should I Feel Guilty For Taking Time Off?

https://unsplash.com/photos/aiyBwbrWWlo

“Time Is Precious.”

~ author unknown

When I originally decided to join the millions of people who blog I was so excited. I wanted to change things up in my life. I was on a mission to re-invigorate myself.

It is not in my nature to do something half way. So, as usual, I started and pushed forward full steam.

Now I am not saying I did everything perfectly because that would be inaccurate. I did everything to the best of my ability with the knowledge that I had.

To be truthful, I had no knowledge of how to start a blog. In some ways it was brutal and a little painful at times. It was definitely frustrating. It still is.

At the beginning of the year I made the decision to take some time off from my blog and writing in general.

I needed to take a step back and decompress. I was putting too much pressure on myself to be the “best”. That did not work.

What I was doing was not working for me. There were many other responsibilities that I was ignoring and I needed to get them done.

I felt like I was being stretched apart too tightly like a rubber band. It felt like I could break if I stretched any further.

The result was feeling deflated. Nothing was making me happy and I definitely was not relaxed. I suppose in some ways you could call me a slightly depressed perfectionist.

So here I am and February is at an end. Have I accomplished everything I needed to do? No, sadly, I have not. There is a dent in it, and that makes me feel somewhat better, but it has not “cured” my discontent.

What I have found is I feel guilty. Now in reality that is pure rubbish. There is no reason for me to feel guilty, but yet I do.

No one is putting pressure on me to do anything. I am placing the pressure on myself.

So I am continuing to put my house in order. When I say “my house” I am referring to me. I have come to understand that I am a perfectionist and I easily feel guilt for not being enough.

There is progress. I have been successful on a good “start” to my goal of reorganizing and ending up with a clean slate, but I am not there yet.

Each day I work on two or three projects and I can see the results and the progress I have made.

The problem is that when I stand back after I have done something I feel good about it, but it is difficult handing onto that feeling for more than a day or two.

When I think of the sum total of what I still have to do I feel overwhelmed. It is ginormous.

So I am trying to keep it all in perspective. I am trying not to judge myself.

There is guilt and there is an emotional side to all of this. I have an understanding of it, but it does not make it easier to push forward through it. I will get there, but I have come to realize that it will not be easy and it will not be overnight.

I cannot just put a big bandage on it and then feel better.

So I know I can get this done and I understand it will take a good long while.

It is so funny because as I go through each day there are these random thoughts and images that flow through of other things I want to do. They entice me and in some weird way make me feel better.

There are many things to look forward to. I just have to get through this first to be able to get to them.

I am not giving up on myself. I am a work in progress.

I am still here working on my goals.

 “Success is the sum of small efforts, repeated day in and day out.”

~ Robert Collier

Thank you so much for reading.

Author:

Moving Forward.....that is what this blog is about and adjusting my Time Frame. We all have a time frame although we may acknowledge, or look at our life that way, but life is our own personal time frame. I am in my early 70's and I plan on living for many more years and accomplish many things. This blog is the beginning of that process. It is my way of pushing myself along that path. So where do I go from here? Follow along and maybe what I do will help you to Move Forward as well. Also, join me on my journey at https://medium.com/@lindalatt

6 thoughts on “Should I Feel Guilty For Taking Time Off?

  1. Linda, you and I are so on the same page!! I always feel guilty like I’m supposed to be doing anything else but writing! There is so much to do, in my writing world and outside of it that we do put undue pressure on ourselves. If like me you used to work outside the home, that makes it even worse. You know how you used to contribute to the bills, the house, the kids and everything else. Now I feel guilty if I write all day, even if I make sure that everyone is taken care of and the house is neat, the laundry kept up, blah blah. What I have to do to keep sane is compartmentalize everything and so I write early in the morning…just in case something comes up or someone needs me to do something or go somewhere else. This happens a lot since I’m my dad’s part-time caregiver. But then I feel guilty that I’m not with him more than I am. Ugh.
    So I totally get what you are saying. You will work it out. My goal has sort of been met, just to write a little something every day. Now making money at it? That’s gonna take a heck of a lot more work.

    Like

    1. Oh My.Yes, I think I have always been that way. I did work outside the home as a single parent, worked full time, went to college part time and I always felt guilty. Now I live with my husband who is not in good health and I am in transition from having my own small budiness with a lot of “stuff” to dispose of. I cannot concentrate on what I want to do which is writing, as well as other creative things. There is never enough time.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I know that feeling as well! Then, if I don’t write stuff that makes money, I feel guilty about that too. It’s no wonder my shoulders and neck stay so tense all the time!

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  2. Sometimes I think I could use a little perfectionism and wish I was a bit more driven, although I can understand the guilty thing. I hate to say it but I wonder if it is because as women we are so used to having to be so much and do so much that we feel the need to be perfect all the time and never let anyone down. Guilt just feels like second nature to me sometimes, not healthy I know.

    Like

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