I am so Frustrated ! I was hoping this wouldn’t happen but here I am totally awash in frustration. It is so bad. I have been dealing with it all day to the edge of Depression. I can feel myself teetering on the edge and I am trying not to fall in.
I have been really focused and pushing myself to excel. I started blogging and I became really excited when I was doing research and I discovered some great articles. They were published on a site I had never heard of before and they were all well written. I started reading random articles and in doing that I found information about writing and being published on that site.
Could I do that ? I was really hesitant but overwhelming interested. I thought about it, and thought some more, and then decided why not. I gave it a try. I submitted one article and they accepted it. However, it was only available on their site. It was not published and available for the general public to see. Bummer !
So as excited as I had been originally, after not being published I still thought, OK I can do this. I wrote another article which was accepted and it was published. I was actually paid a small amount of money. Yes ! I was totally, jump up and down, excited.
Of course, that experience made me want to jump right in and write another article. It took me awhile to decide what to write about. I chose something I thought would be interesting to a large audience. It was not an easy process and it took me forever. At least it felt like a long time. In actuality it was 4 + hours each day for 5-6 days including research.
The topic I chose was religious in nature and my own belief. The best part of the process of writing was expressing my own viewpoint and feelings. It is something I think about and sometimes talk about and it felt good to actually write all those feelings down. So it was not a problem writing that first part of the article. I actually think it was good for me to clarify those feelings.
Once I had written about my personal experiences, and why I came to my conclusion about faith, I felt I needed to add more. I did research about the history of the Bible as a backbone for the article. I did so much research and it was difficult putting it into perspective. The point was to add definition to my article and show the controversy about the accuracy of the Bible. This is turn would support my beliefs. Actually, the controversy could support anyone’s viewpoint which I noted in my writing.
When I was finished writing and submitted the article I was not 100 % satisfied with the portion about the Bible. I did feel it was sufficient to show the controversy about it’s accuracy. Looking back now I am wondering if my addition of that information was why my article was not chosen for publication.
In particular concern to me was the presentation of my research and the proper disclosure of my references. Did I do that properly ? Also a concern to me was the conciseness of my writing. Did I present my findings in such a way that the reader could clearly understand ?
I assaulted myself over and over with uncertainty. Yesterday was a difficult day for me. I went from a feeling of joy and satisfaction to one of questioning my abilities. Instead of feeling joyful I was very frustrated and mildly depressed.
So where do I go from here ? Walking outside this morning with my cat at 6 am I did not feel any better than yesterday. I was still questioning how I should proceed. Should I totally walk away from writing articles for this publication ? Should I take a break from my blog as well so I can clear my mind. Spend some much needed time in my gardens. Time needed for the gardens but also for me ? It would be so therapeutic.
Yesterday I contacted the publishing company for any insight they can give me regarding my writing. I am hoping to hear from them soon with some definitive answers. I clearly do not know why and it makes it more difficult to learn from this experience. I want to move forward and make the correct improvements. No matter what our individual level of competency there should always be the quest for improving what we do.
“Personal development is a major time-saver. The better you become, the less time it takes you to achieve your goals.” ―Brian Tracy
It is very upsetting to me to be told what I have written is not good enough. No one wants to hear that, or except it. So now what do I do ? For me there is really only one option and that is to keep trying. I want to write and I want to write for this company. Being rejected is a challenge.
I will not go quietly into the night. I will stay and fight. I will look for ways to keep improving and although I dread being rejected again I will submit more articles.
This is a frustrating little bump in my road forward. I know I have to improve and I know it will not just magically happen. I will have to work for it. So that is what I am doing; working and looking for ways to improve my writing.
I have been doing a bit of research today and found a site called Grammarly. I am trying their free version but it does not provide enough help. I think what I really need is the Premium version and that cost $29.95 per month which I cannot afford. I will continue looking for other options.
Just at the right time I read Thembi Terry’s Blog, “Three Free Online Courses That Helped Me As A Blogger”
I read her post the day before I submitted my article and saved it so I could look into those courses. Now I definitely know I will. Thank you, Thembi Terry.
Although yesterday I felt defeated, today that feeling is easing. Writing my blog is all about moving forward and improving my life. So these are the steps I will be taking.
- Remain positive. No negativity allowed.
- Look for ways to improve my writing skills.
- Visualize my outcome. My very specific goal is having my articles accepted for publication.
- Remain focused. I do not want to spend too much of my time looking for easy options. Hard work will get me the results I want.
- Create a journal of what I am doing so I will have a record of what I accomplished and what still needs to be done.
There you have it. My frustration and what I am doing with it. Just writing this today has been a great help. I am focused and I know what I have to do.
As always, Thank You for reading my blog. Have a wonderful day !